POLOKWANE – This is the story of Lilian Peters, a 16-year-old mother.
It is early morning and as I get ready for school, mom is preparing breakfast. Eggs, bacon and toast. Usually, I love the smell of breakfast, but not today. Today it forces me to the bathroom where I had to get rid of everything I ate or drank before.
I’m 16 and I’m almost seven months pregnant. My parents do not know yet, but I’m not sure how long I will be able to hide it any more.
I am a pregnant teenager.
I was at a school party and as with other parties at our home-school centre, alcohol, as well as drugs, were freely available. I drank, a lot, but did not do drugs. There is this boy in the centre; he is 18, tall dark and handsome. We spend the evening together and eventually slept together. I do not love him.
Being pregnant and alone is not easy. I cannot tell my parents, as I know they will be disappointed and angry. When I told the father, he rejected me, saying the baby is not his. I am all alone and 16.
Abortion is not an option, and I’m not sure adoption is either. Being pregnant makes me worried and sick. I throw up after almost every meal, I struggle to concentrate and my clothes are getting too small. I need to tell someone. But who?
With every ounce of guts in my body, I told my mom. And as expected, she was furious. She told my dad who lashed out at me, telling me my life is at its end, I messed up badly.
I know all of this, I messed up, I know. But right now I need support, not anger. My mom took me to the doctor where we found out I’m expecting a boy. My own little boy. My dad on the other hand, was so furious, he still is.
Due to the fact that I am enrolled in a home school centre, I will be able to finish my school career. But, doing it with a baby might be challenging. Apart from growing bigger by the second, I am extremely tired and sleeps a lot. This means that I miss a lot of work.
Since the baby’s dad does not acknowledge him, I cannot expect any contribution from him. I need to find work to support me and my baby, but everywhere I ask the response is that I need matric. I only have gr.9. At some places, I can get work, but the payments are so little that I will have to pay in to support us. I am lucky to be able to stay with my mom who helps out a lot.
The birth date is coming up and with mixed emotions of scared and excitement; I await the little one’s arrival.
The hospital bag is packed and I am ready. Or am I?
Brian is born early one evening and I fell in love immediately. Every little part of him is perfect. He is healthy, even though I did not have significant pregnancy care.
Having a baby is great, but at the same time difficult. Even though I have help from friends and family, there are a lot of expenses. From nappies and wipes to clothes and medication. Not having a job or even being able to get one is difficult. Mom is very supportive and helps out a lot.
I am a teenage mother.
Review spoke to an auxiliary social worker, Wilhelmina Matsaung at SAVF about teenage pregnancies.
“Most teenage pregnancies happen because the parents are not around. They often let the children stay with their grandparents who are too old or ill too properly look after the children. Young teenage girls are then forced to become the person keeping the house. She needs to cook, buy food, clean and do everything a full grown woman should do. This then results in them thinking they are old enough to have sexual relations.”
Matsaung explains that this has an effect on the country’s economy.
“When the teenager has a baby, they drop out of school. Since she is not working, the taxpayer has to pay more to support her. Teenagers do not understand that you cannot just have a baby without an income,” she concluded.
