The other side of motherhood: How Terry survived four miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy
Terry Whitehead is a mother who has been through a lot, having suffered four miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. She shares her story with Review
POLOKWANE – “It feels like yesterday, though it’s almost nine years ago that we had our first miscarriage. I was seven and a half months pregnant and I can still remember it clearly. We were so excited that Saturday, we were going to find out the gender of our baby, somehow I knew it was a boy because it had been our prayer to God. We went to see the doctor, mommy and her two girls. Instead of finding out the gender, we had to find out that baby’s heart has stopped beating. It was on a Saturday, the doctor that had to help me wasn’t available and they could only help us on Monday.”
Terry shares that the weekend was full of emotional pain, tears, questions and promises to God. On Monday she was booked into hospital and the baby was removed later that week. Two years years after the first miscarriage she fell pregnant again but she lost the baby five months into her pregnancy.
Two and a half years later she has sever pains and went to see a gynecologist where she found out that she was three months pregnant and this time with twins. “We were so excited and grateful to God but as the gynaecologist did further tests, there was no heartbeat. Really Lord, again after we’ve been praying, fasting, believing and trusting You, what more do You want us to do? Here we go again, the hurting, crying, depressing, questioning process again,” she expressed.
About a year after that, she once again experienced severe abdominal pains again and this time she was booked into a hospital where she found out she had an ectopic pregnancy. “It was at that point where we question the Lord whether our story will ever change. People around us were getting babies, why not us,” she said. In 2014, they took a decision to no longer stress about it, if God wanted it to happen, it would happen.
At around that time, she found out that she had cysts that needed to be removed but a family emergency in the Eastern Cape caused her not to have the operation. “We decided that I had to stop working and concentrate on what God wants us to do. In April 2014, I resigned and I was also ready for the cysts to be removed. I got to the doctor, he did a sonar and guess what, we were expecting again,” she said. The doctor couldn’t believe it and neither could they. The journey started and the doctor explained the reasons for the previous miscarriages. She had to start using Claxene injections daily to keep her blood from clotting.
“My husband injected me daily. As baby was growing my stomach got very big and the injections became painful cause I was injected on my stomach. Luckily a friend of mine who is a nurse was around and she assisted with the process until two days before the baby was delivered. He was born on 23 December 2014 at 37 weeks, a healthy , handsome baby boy,” she said. Her happily ever after hadn’t began yet, as a week later, they had to rush back to hospital because the baby had jaundice and had to be admitted in hospital for a week. When baby Othniel William Whitehead was a year and eight months old, they found out that they were expecting again.
“Today, we have been blessed with two beautiful girls Jadé and Tatum and two miracle handsome boys Othniel and Uriel. It wasn’t easy but looking back, it was worth it. As a couple we had to draw even nearer to God to be able to draw nearer to each other. It was trying times for us emotionally, spiritually, financially. I resigned and my medical aid was cancelled. I had to buy the medication from the pharmacy.The medication we used was about R 80 per injection per day. There were days that we could only afford a injection for that day and we would pray to God to provide for the next day. Someone would knock at our door and come and pay money they borrowed from us months ago. When we first went to inquire about the medication, I went with a friend of mine, the lady behind the counter explained to us, that if I start with the medication I can’t skip a day or the baby won’t make it,” she added.
She added that she is blessed with a wonderful God fearing husband and beautiful kids. “He turned my mourning into dancing. I’m currently ministering in our church, i do motivational speaking especially on life matters, such as love, family, marriage and abuse. I have studied Christian Counselling at Unisa and I’m left with one year to complete my studies, I stopped due to the pregnancies and financial constraints. We as a family do a lot of work in our community especially with the youth in our community and family related issues such as support and counselling,” she concluded.
