Local clinical psychologist gives tips on introducing a newborn to siblings
Introducing a newborn to his/her siblings can be challenging but there are ways to make the introduction easier for your little ones
POLOKWANE – Clinical Psychologist, Moipone Veronicah Lebese, says the introduction of a newborn to their sibling/siblings is important as not to let the older siblings feel left out or jealous.
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“The birth of a baby is a time of transition for the first born children and their parents as it changes the family structure. Most importantly, for the firstborn child, it marks the transition to sibling-hood where the firstborn’s role as an only child is transformed into one of older brother or sister,” she explains.
Before the arrival of the new sibling, family life revolves around the firstborn child whereby he/she is the centre of the family’s attention. With the arrival of the new sibling, the firstborn child will have to start to learn new social skills of sharing attention, affection and space with another child.
“For some children, the transition can be stressful and constitute a developmental crisis, while for others, it can be a time for developmental advances,” Lebese says.
How to introduce the arrival of the new sibling:
• Explain in age appropriate language the upcoming arrival of the new sibling. For younger children, the starting point can be when mommy’s tummy is already showing in that reference can be made that mommy is carrying a baby brother/sister who is going to be a new addition to the family. Doing this well in time helps the child to deal with the possible mixed emotions and the upcoming changes.
• Involve the child in preparing for the new sibling, for instance, in preparing the baby room, in choosing a name etc. This will help the firstborn child to feel that they are a part of the family excitement about the new arrival.
• Involving the firstborn child can also be in the form of having him/her “sing or talk” to the unborn child.
• It may also help to start referring to the unborn child as “your little brother/sister” when talking to the firstborn child so that he/she feels connected to the new sibling.
• It is important to mention the gains of having a sibling to the child, for example, that he/she is going to have a playmate, have a little brother/sister and to have someone he/she can love and care for.
• Where possible, changes that are going to happen once the baby is born, should preferably be implemented before the birth of the new-born baby, for example, if the new-born baby is going to sleep in the older child’s cot bed, the older child should start sleeping in his/her new bed some months before so that he/she does not feel displaced by the new-born baby.
How to ease the transition once the sibling is born:
• It is important to continue involving the firstborn child in caring for the new sibling, for instance, sending him/her to get diapers, toys, taking pictures of the baby etc.
• Set time aside to spend with the firstborn child so that he/she does not feel replaced by the new-born child or to feel less valued because of the new baby as this might cause resentment in the older child.
• Increase the little demonstrations of love to the firstborn child by giving hugs, kisses and praises more often.
Lebese’s rooms are situated at Limpopo Medical Centre, 45A Thabo Mbeki Street
