It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early”, replied the defendant. “That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Before the shop opened,” came the reply.
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparent’s house. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers and the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs:
“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…”
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!”
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? A: Snowflakes.
Why is Christmas just like another day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? You have to hollow out it’s head first
Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my e-mail?” (by Adam Sandler)
What do you call the wrapping paper leftover from opening presents? Achrist-MESS
The four stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus 2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus 3. You dress up as Santa Claus 4. You look like Santa Claus
What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
Sources: wwjokes4usw.coolest-holiday-parties.com, www.rd.com, www..com
