Mother opens up about her husband’s drug use
"I remember I used to believe it was all my fault," recalls a recently divorced mother whose world came apart when she found out her husband was using drugs.
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POLOKWANE – *Sue (name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual) tells Review her husband abused drugs and she feared for her and her children’s safety as they frequently endured his angry outbursts.
She says the final straw came when her children were forced to put their father to bed after yet another episode wherein he embarrassed, and could not behave himself.
“He used to have outbursts of anger, he would yell and shake and just display an overall feeling of being irritated by everything and anything and most of the time, I was his first victim,” she tells Review.
*Sue says they started fighting over financial issues, stating there had been times when she had to pay for rent and other expenses without assistance from him. “There was always the one excuse after the other and it was never his fault that he did not have money.”
She explains she became aware of her husband’s addiction when she discovered small sachets around their home, some still containing traces of white powder.
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“I started reading up about drugs,” she explains. *Sue says one of her husband’s friends told her about the drug CAT and she was blown away by the information as it became evident her husband was using it.
She did more research and watched her husband and after a while, she could tell when he had used drugs as he displayed actions listed under the side-effects of drug use.
“This was when five years of married life circled the drain and finally ended in divorce. My life and the life I built with my husband was gone. It was all a lie, our love was a lie,” she says. “Sue decided to get a divorce and start anew for the sake of her children.
Social worker at the South African National Council for Drug and Alcohol Abuse (Sanca) Polokwane, Amanda Swanepoel, says this is one of dozens of similar stories she hears while on the job.
She says more and more people find out about their loved ones’ addictions at this time of year as people gather more often and for longer periods of time, making it harder for the addict to hide their addiction.
According to Swanepoel, there are signs you can look out for if you think someone is abusing drug.
“Drug abuse negatively affects a person’s behavior and habits as he or she becomes more dependent on the drug. The drug itself can alter the brain’s ability to focus and form coherent thoughts, depending on the substance,” she explains.
Changes in behavior, such as the following, can indicate a problem with drug abuse:
• Increased aggression or irritability.
• Changes in attitude/personality.
• Lethargy.
• Depression.
• Sudden changes in use of social network.
• Dramatic changes in habits and/or priorities.
• Financial problems.
• Involvement in criminal activity.
For assistance, Sanca Far North can be contacted at 33 Kerk Street or at 015 295 3700. The facility will be closed between Friday, 23 December and Tuesday, 3 January 2017. In cases of emergency, Swanepoel can be contacted at 083 275 3640.
riana@nmgroup.co.za
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