POLOKWANE – Dr Johan Smith, author, motivational speaker, mentor, learner, and parent, discussed problems parents and children encounter in their homes during a motivational talk at Hoërskool Pietersburg last Wednesday.
The talk was hosted in cooperation with the Federation Governing Bodies for South African Schools (Fedsas) and was mainly for parents and teachers.
“Boundaries and discipline are the core values parents need to instill in their children, it helps them become responsible adults,” he said.
Smith explained that one of the most important factors lacking in today’s homes is communication between parents and children, and some of the examples he used hit close to home for those in attendance.
Smith said parents shift the role and responsibility of parenthood to the school and even churches.
“You cannot outsource parenting. It is not the school or the church’s responsibility to raise your child. It is you, the parent, who must take that responsibility. Parents are the ones who should instill discipline in their children,” was one of his hard-hitting points.
Smith said discipline is when you teach your child to carry the consequences of their deeds instead of sorting out their problems for them.”Parents do not realise they are raising monsters, monsters they let loose into the world. If parents succeeded in instilling boundaries and discipline in their children, occurrences such as the current #FeesMustFall debacle, for example, would not take place. This often happens when parents allow their children to throw tantrums and then give in to their demands. It becomes natural for children to then behave as such, because their parents have let them down,” he added.
“Children are born without boundaries, you as parents must create those boundaries for them. Parents are responsible for how a child should be raised. One of the most important ways to accomplish this is for parents to learn the ability to tolerate being hated and to be seen as a bad person, sometimes even by their children. Unfortunately you are their parent first and their friend second and as such you must sometimes be seen as the monster.”
He said children do not realise that when parents set those boundaries and instill discipline, they are doing it to give them the opportunity to become better people. Setting boundaries and instilling discipline from a young age, Smith added, is important for children to grow up to become responsible adults and future leaders.
