POLOKWANE – In celebration of National Adoption Week, which was held from 19 to 25 October, Sue Altenroxel shares her journey of adopting a child.
Sue adopted her daughter through the inter-racial adoption procedures.
“I adopted Erin Thandi at three months and haven’t looked back once. She is six years old now and I cannot imagine my life without her,” Sue says.
“I made use of Abba Specialist Adoptions and Social Services and had to go through screening. There was also a week’s workshop where they helped us. Since it was an inter-racial adoption, the transition was huge. They gave us a child’s history and we had to tell the child’s story to each other. Then we had to turn the paper and on the back was an adult. The message was: Will I be able to have a black man or woman as my child? It opened our eyes to what we are doing.”
Sue says the support from her family and friends were great throughout the adoption process as she became the single white mother of a black child. They had concerns, but as time went on, it all eased.
In the beginning she felt people staring, but as Erin grew older she forgot to notice the different colours of their skin.
“If people want to adopt a child I’d recommend they go through an agency as it makes every step of the way easy. We were told to write our child’s story and read it to her. The best advice I got and will give is not to share her story with anyone else before she has heard it and gives you permission to share it. She needs to tell who she wants.”
Since it is obvious that Erin is adopted, Sue did not have to tell her, but there are things she needs to know and Sue says that last year, Erin started asking more deliberate questions about her birth mother and about not having a father.
“The best is to tell the truth and keep an open door policy. Don’t ever lie to the child.”
Sue says though Erin is asking for a baby brother or sister now, she is unable to adopt another child due to her financial circumstances. But she is adamant that if she had to do everything again, she would most definitely do so.
“Erin is such a bright child and her teachers call her kind. As her mom I can say she is very intense. She is amazing and I will never regret having her in my life.”
