Rape victim advocates counselling

POLOKWANE – In commemoration of the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign, a 26-year-old woman from Seshego shared her ordeal.

The woman said she was raped by someone she knew over two years ago.

“He was a friend of mine and I trusted him. There were days that I blamed myself for what had happened. I asked questions like, ‘what if I didn’t go with him that night; did I do something to give him the wrong idea?’ However, with counselling I now know that I did nothing wrong and that he is the one that should feel guilty. No means no,” the woman said.

The community allegedly turned their backs on the woman after she reported the case to the police.

“It was hell. I did not know how to handle the situation because I know the suspect and we live in the same neighbourhood. He was arrested, but released on bail the next day. He went around telling people I was crazy and that I was making everything up, and many people believed him. They said he was handsome and would never do what I accused him of. There were even some of my family members who believed him over me, and that turned my world upside down,” the woman said.

She added that there was a time that the community made her feel like the villain and him the victim.

“It was so bad I was afraid to leave the house, because whenever people saw me they would whisper behind my back. I felt ashamed, as if I had done something wrong. Nevertheless, the counselling I received at the Pietersburg Provincial Hospital helped me a lot. In counselling I learned that I did nothing wrong and that I had no reason to feel ashamed, because I know what the truth is and so does he. With the help of my counsellor, I was able to face the suspect, his family that terrorised me from time to time when they passed me in the street, and the community that judged me for taking a stand. So counselling is very important for any rape victim or a victim of crime. It helps you deal with the trauma, and emotions,” the woman said.

According to the woman, she was just getting her life back on track and made peace with what had happened, when the investigating officer contacted her to say that the case would be placed on the court roll, as he had concluded his investigation and the matter was ready to be heard in court.

“When I got the news so many emotions went through me. I did not know what to feel. I could not stop crying. To date I am not sure if it was tears of relief that the case would finally be finalised, or tears of sadness because I had to relive the pain of that night after working so hard to make peace with it. I also fear that the community will judge me again, but my immediate family supports me. They motivate me with the words that in court the truth will be victorious and those who judged me will be ashamed once the suspect is found guilty,” the woman said.

She encouraged other rape victims to report their ordeals.

“Yes it is a difficult and painful road, but by reporting your rape to the police you are possibly saving another persom from being the victim of the same perpetrator,” the woman concluded.