“My daughters are enough for me”

POLOKWANE – It is often made a big deal that a man must have sons to carry on the family lineage and grow the clan. This sometimes brings pressure for men who father girl children because of it is of the belief that the surname dies off.

Mzamani Willie Chauke is a father of three daughters and he often gets questions about whether he didn’t want a son, however, his response is always that the thought has never crossed his mind.

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He explained that he doesn’t feel like it makes a difference to him because his daughters are just as good what people believe sons would be.

 “People often ask if I am not worried about not having someone to carry on my surname but honestly, it’s the least of my worries. It is God’s will for me to have only girls and I have no problem with that. My daughters do for me what I believe sons would and I have no qualms about it,” he said.

He added that his main focus when growing the family was bringing up children who would become functioning, productive adults who would one day be able to stand on their own, be it girls or boys.

“I have never felt like there are certain things that I can’t do because I only have girls. I have never wanted my daughters to limit themselves because of societal beliefs or what is expected of them,” he said.

The biggest lesson about raising girl children, he said, is to give each their individual attention and allow them to thrive.

“There is no umbrella personality for girls and its wrong to assume all of them would like pink and play with dolls. I had to learn their different personalities and we’ve had some rough moments. It’s also safe to say I’m still learning each of them,” he said.

Another thing he has learned along the way is that it’s okay to step back and not be involved in everything.  “Some conversations are best had with their mother and I can support from the background. It doesn’t mean I’m any less involved,” he added.