Women’s Month and GBV: Help needed for abused and abuser

August is Women’s Month and gender-based violence (GBV) is one of the major challenges that many female partners face in silence.
Local psychologist, Susan van der Merwe shared her insights on this matter and her message is that there is help for both the abused person and the abuser.
“Why are women abused physically and emotionally and why does a man one moment cherish the woman in his life and shower her with kisses, only to downgrade or even attack her a moment later?”
Van der Merwe asks and explains that a person who has experienced abuse or violence in the past, tends to revert to violence and abuse when frustrated as a result of a physiological change in the brain.
“This physiological change in the brain increases the stress hormones which brings a charged feeling to the body that moves a person to act in a violent way and it is called the abuse cycle,” she adds.
According to Van der Merwe, when children experience violent behaviour, even when it is only a lot of shouting, their brains develop into anxious brains and they believe that they are no longer safe with those who are supposed to cherish and protect them. Such individuals may easily turn into abusers in their later life when they are frustrated.
“These triggers of feeling upset and angry come automatically in a changed brain regardless of very good intentions,” Van der Merwe explains.
“It is not all bad news for those who have been exposed to violence in their past and with modern therapy, much can be done by psychologists to assist patients to process the past or the emotional residue that is still in the brain.
“A psychologist has ways to help you to feel different even when your are very frustrated,” Van der Merwe reckons.
Van der Merwe advises abused women to seek help and not to suffer in silence.
“All matters are dealt with in strict confidence,” she assures. Contact Khuluma at (012) 326 6307 or 012 660 3532 or Famsa on 011 788 4784 for assistance and guidance. Locally, safeplaces.org.za can be visited at 18 Hans van Rensburg Street.

Story: Barry Viljoen