Fatherhood: an exciting and equally daunting chapter in a man’s life
REVIEW spoke to registered counsellor, Maphuti Mashiane who shared advise on how first time fathers can prepare and cope with a new baby in the house.
POLOKWANE – You hear and read a lot about women preparing for motherhood but how can a man prepare for such a tremendous task? REVIEW spoke to registered counsellor, Maphuti Mashiane who shared advise on how first time fathers can prepare and cope with a new baby in the house.
Change is imminent
Change can be expected and will differ from person to person. It’s is difficult to predict the effect it will have on every individual but Maphuti advises fathers to expect change in order to be somewhat prepared for what comes their way. “The uncertainty can cause feelings of stress and anxiety… This is perfectly normal,” he explained.
Careful planning
Maphuti advised that it is important to make notes of the things you need to keep in mind. “It helps to plan ahead financially, time wise and routine wise to minimise stress. A new baby in the home requires careful planning and time needs to be scheduled carefully. A baby is ‘trained’ and this requires consistency to help them keep to a schedule.”
Strain in the relationship
Another thing that can be expected with a new baby is strain in a relationship. Both parties are learning, it’s important to be open minded and understanding. “It is advisable to rather take a time out, for a few moments and gather yourself before you end up at each others’ throats. Be patient with your partner, it’s not any easier for either of you. Also try to spend time together and be open about any feelings of uncertainty and fear about the future,” he said.
The learning experience
He further explained that as a first time parent, expect to make mistakes… parenting is all about learning. “It’s fine to struggle and make mistakes, nobody is born a perfect parent. There is also no handbook to parenting so take every day as it comes and don’t be too hard on yourself. Yes, the is tremendous amount of pressure that comes with being a father, you are expected to be the provider, the protector and have it all together, but it takes time. It is fine to drop the ball once in a while and use that as a learning experience,” he concluded.
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