#matrics2018 what’s my next step and how to deal with it

POLOKWANE – All exams are stressful, but during your matric year exams seems to explode to a next level of stress and anxiety.

Review spoke to Carla Booysen, teacher and psychological counsellor at High Technical School Tom Naudé.

“This is due to the fact that the future is now just one step away. Important decisions need to be made, changes and challenges arise all around you and the nagging and pressure of teachers and parents intensify on a daily basis. Twelve years of education is coming to an end and the reality strikes, “I’m grown up”.”

But what will happen to you now? How will you survive? What is your next step? “Together with all the decisions that need to be made and hard work that needs to be done, fear arises. The fear of the future, the fear of disappointing yourself, or worse, your parents. In the blink of an eye everything gets too much and stress and anxiety nestles into your mind and body. Suddenly everything is too much to deal with and you look for an easy way out, a quick fix, now suicide doesn’t sound so bad…”

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Booysen says it is normal and quite common to think and feel this way during your matric year, especially during the final exams.

Her advice is to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.

“Take a moment, but then snap out of it, calm down, make a decision and take action. The wonderful thing about the future is that you alone can decide the course of it. Only you and you alone have the power to control your thoughts and feelings. And only you get to choose who or what will have power and control over your life. Don’t give stress and anxiety power over your life. Make the decision and take control.”

Not passing your matric final exam is not the end of the world, she advised, as you can rewrite the subjects you failed.

Many learners feel matric is it, there is nothing after matric, and if they don’t do as well as expected, their futures are bleak. It’s important to let learners – and their parents – know there is light at the end of the matric tunnel.

Sometimes exams are not a cause for celebration – and many teens can feel very alone, isolated and self-loathing when reports come out. That’s a lot of pressure for a teen who may not have passed their exams or may not have done as well as they expected.

For matriculants, the focus on pass rates and education standards, getting university exemption and the space and opportunity to attend tertiary education, the high rate of unemployment, domestic abuse, bullying and the state of the economy all add up to a sometimes lethal mix.

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) runs a counselling helpline that is open seven days a week from 08:00 to 20;00. Concerned parents, teachers or peers can contact a Sadag counsellor toll-free on 0800 21 22 23 or 0800 12 13 14, or SMS 31393.

You may also want to read: Suicide: watch out for these signs

Always have a ‘no-regrets’ attitude.

Regret is a haunting monster that chases you down day after day, moment after moment. Don’t allow this monster to creep into your life. Give your best and put in the necessary effort from the get go. This includes working in the classroom as well, not only exams. It is a matter of all or nothing. Give it your all so you can walk away from your final exams with a clear, guilt-free conscious, a rested soul and an expectation for the future.

Symptoms of stress and anxiety parents can look out for:

• Excessive worrying.
• Major tension.
• Headaches and stomach pains are also symptoms of stress or anxiety.
• Insomnia (not sleeping enough).
• Hypersomnia (sleeping too much).
• Lose interest in food (don’t eat enough).
• Eat too much (eat more than normal).
• A depressed mood (do not enjoy activities that they usually enjoy).
• Talk negative, experience negative thoughts and a low mood.
• Seem negative and hopeless about the future.

“If your teenager experiences one or more of the above symptoms, seek help from a professional psychological counsellor. Also, talk to your teenager about it. Show interest, be supportive and cut back on the ‘pressure talks’. You need to be your teenager’s safe haven and support system. Do not add to their pressure. You can encourage them in healthy ways without adding pressure. Make sure your teenager knows you are proud of them, no matter what, and that their best is more than good enough. Be available and be present,” Booysen said.