Some women are not aware they are being abused, says social worker

Women shouldn’t allow their poor economic conditions to stand in their way in fighting gender-based violence (GBV), a social worker has said.

“A lack of economic empowerment makes women vulnerable to and easily accept being victims of abuse at the hands of heartless men with economic advantages in their favour,” said Mpho Mazwi, a social worker from the social development department

“Women should emancipate themselves to gain economic independence to avoid abuse.”

Mazwi added that women should refrain from depriving themselves of the opportunity to serve in positions previously or currently dominated by men such as bus or truck drivers.

She, however, made it clear that poverty and lack of financial stability should not be the reason not to fight abuse as fighting prevents it from escalating to where a woman and sometimes children lose their lives.

“Women who tolerate abuse, sometimes at the hands of men who see themselves as superior because of their economic advantage, become dependent on the abusers,” she said.

“Victims of abuse do not live their own life – they are not free.”

She said it was sad that many women in Tshwane and the entire country were not aware that they are victims of abuse, and that it was important to identify abuse early on to save lives.

“GBV is any violence directed against a person because of their gender. Anyone can experience GBV regardless of a high level of education or status.”

She said this violation of human rights comes in four phases, namely tension building, incident, reconciliation and calm.

The tension-building phase may be caused by situations such as financial or work-related stress.

“The problem begins when one brings that tension home, becomes aggressive and where there is a lack of communication.”

In the incident phase, the abuser begins to beat and insult the woman.

“Abusers at this stage may commit marital rape or insult the woman by suggesting that she is not good enough and a bad mother.”

In the reconciliation phase, the abuser apologises and comes up with stories that shift the blame away from him.

The abuser would say, for example, “I was not myself on that day, my boss was just too hard on me”.

She said the abuser would go as far as buying gifts or flowers – anything to make the woman happy.

“The abusers want the woman to believe them and forgive.”

In the calm phase, the abuser is on their best behaviour to make believe that he has changed.

“If the woman complained that the abuser, for example, does not wash dishes and cook, the abuser will start doing that.

“The sad part is that after all phases the abuse starts from the beginning again,” she said.

She said blaming external factors did not help partners solve the problem of abuse and that victims of abuse should report the incident to the police.

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