By: Bernice Maune

Tweens love to stand out from the crowd and the best way to have them become the talk of the town is by throwing a super cool birthday party.

Make your tween’s next party a fun and exciting celebration which will keep them entertained and with loads of memories to look back on.

Be creative and customise our list of awesome party ideas by incorporating your tween’s favourite superhero or cartoon character. Add their favourite colour or make it a secretive affair by leaving clues all over the house for your tween to decode what type of party they will have.

Just remember to think fun and your tween will be the talk of his class for having hosted an original party.

Here’s our list of interactive party ideas for tweens

Country theme

Ask your child to pick a country on a map. If they pick the North Pole for example, that can be the theme of the party. This works especially well if your child was born in winter. They can ask guests to dress up as snowmen and wear furry coats, boots and jackets. Create a winter wonderland theme for them and their own personal igloo using a tent. Go crazy with this theme and have your tween and friends play fishing games as if they have to hunt for their own food.

Talent contest theme

Have a talent contest as the theme of a party. Get your tween to ask their friends to showcase their talent and come prepared to perform on a set-up stage. There can be a judging panel who will score each contestant just like on Idols.Prepare prizes and go glam with a red carpet, mics and photographer to capture every exciting yet special moment.

Mai tai or Karate theme

Set your child’s party up in a gym or karate class. Arrange karate outfits for everyone together with different coloured belts. Set-up a self-defence class for party attendees so that they can learn how to defend themselves while having fun.

Spa day

Host the birthday party at a spa where all the guests will receive a massage and full on pampering session. This is perfect for a group of girls who want to bond and chat over manicures and pedicures.

Adventure galore

Schedule a ziplining tour and request the guests to wear overalls and hard hats. The tour can feature a surprise at each stop and treats for everyone as a reward for completing each tour. Just ensure to add safety precautions or ask each child to sign an indemnity form though zipline tours are generally safe and child friendly.

Planning a party for your child doesn’t have to be a bore or a tedious process. Include your someone who really knows your tween well like a friend from school if you are planning a surprise party or ask them to expand on the suggestions above if they would like to be involved.

By: Bernice Maune

Your tween is at a stage in their lives where they are eager to impress at school and at home.

Create a healthy environment where they can ‘fail forward’ and retain their confidence through disappointments which are a normal part of life.

We’ve come up with several suggestions which can foster a balanced environment for your tween while helping them to work through life’s disappointments.

Communication is vital

Talk to your tween about a failure they have experienced and allow them to give you the details. If you sense they may be holding back, don’t pester them to share. Instead speak in an understanding tone and hear them out. Limit questions and prompt them to speak by listening and acknowledging their disappointments.

All a part of life

Tell your tween that disappointments are a part of life and not achieving a high grade or not getting picked for the netball team is not the end of the world. By getting them to understand that timing is important and sometimes another person has achieved or has access to what they want at a certain time, this will show them that they can always try again and teaches them that they too can be happy for others.

Turning setbacks into comebacks

Your tween can turn a setback into a comeback by taking a lesson from a failed experience and using that to become better. Have they lost a friend? Tell them that this is the perfect opportunity to make new friends. Or it could be a chance for them to learn a new skill and make new friends while at it. The key is to show them how to find a lesson in a setback that they can use to propel themselves forward.

Losing doesn’t have to be sore

If your child is disappointed after losing a match or game at school then this is the perfect opportunity to lift their spirits and help them find the silver lining. Take them out for ice-cream and make a joke about the game. Highlight their strengths and focus on how well they did. Not only is that an opportunity to bond but you are also teaching them that they don’t have to be a sore loser and can find ways to cope and make themselves feel better after a disappointment.

Being happy for others

Talk to your teen about their disappointment and if it involved losing out to another child, speak to them about how they are feeling. The aim is to urge them to be healthy competitors and to explore their feelings before they turn bitter. This also helps them to be happy for other people’s wins even if it may be at a loss to themselves.

Not making a big deal out of disappointments

Approaching disappointments positively also entails not focusing on the disappointment in itself but looking at how it can improve one’s skills. Teach your child that since disappointments are a natural way of life and are bound to happen they can choose how to react to each one. Blowing a disappointment out of proportion will lead to them feeling bad while looking at it strategically with an ‘I’ll do better next time attitude’ will enable them to cope in future.

Disappointment can be hard for tweens to deal with but as their parent you can make it easier for them by being there and guiding them each step of the way.

With school holidays coming up, your tween may be looking forward to going on holiday. You on the other hand may be a little less excited about the trip down to the coast or road trip to your parent’s house.

The best way to make things less complicated is to keep your tween entertained and busy during the trip. When travelling by car, make a list of activities that the whole family can participate in.

Include activities like general knowledge which won’t distract the driver as everyone participates by verbally responding to questions. You can also use the time to find out how the school term was and ask your tween to give everyone a breakdown of their favourite subjects and how they plan to better them the next term.

Load your tablet and phone with tween friendly apps so that your child can play games during the trip. Look at games and apps which have a strong educational focus which will encourage them to continue learning even while they are away from the classroom.

Load series on a laptop of their favourite cartoon or show to spoil them with several episodes they can watch along the way.

Stock up on puzzles and mini board games like snakes and ladders which are easy to assemble and put together whether travelling by car, train or plane.

Challenge your tween to read an intriguing book series like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, preferably a book which you have also read so that you can quiz each other on the plot and characters.

Bring a Kindle along and load educational material which will stimulate their mind and keep the busy during travel periods.

Tip: Stock up on healthy snacks such as fresh and dried fruit, pretzels, nuts, bottled water and yoghurt to keep your tween’s energy levels balanced and his mind alert during the trip.

Watch how to keep your kids entertained during travel

https://youtu.be/GrUicyK7FzA

By: Bernice Maune

These days it has become popular for kids to have their own Facebook accounts, and you may even know of one or two babies and toddlers who have their own social media accounts opened by their parents.

So what happens when your tween starts showing an interest in not only owning but managing their own social media account? They might have their own cellphone which has internet access and at school they could be exposed to friends who are on social media.

Some pupils even form groups on Facebook and Whatsapp and discuss school projects or plan sport and social activities. It is becoming increasingly popular for parents to allow their children to have social media accounts but closely monitor these. However, some parents are not comfortable with their children having access to Facebook and the unregulated content which can appear there. There may be realistic concerns of safety and communication between adults and younger children which could lead to compromising situations.

We’ve compiled a ten step process which you can follow in case your tween begins the conversation on having access to social media

Step 1

Ask your child why they want to have social media. Ask them to explain what purpose it will serve and if they have exhausted all other options before settling on social media.

Step 2

Find out which social media accounts they want to use.

Step 3

Have a discussion with them on the pros and cons of having social media at their age and explain what your concerns are. Use real life examples of tweens who have been lured into meeting strangers through social media and focus on the dangers of having premature access to social media.

Step 4

Be open minded to hearing your child’s reasons. Instead of enforcing your decisions on them, hear them out and approach the conversation rationally and logically.

Step 5

Highlight the use of data and the upkeep of having a social media enabled phone. Talk about the costs associated with this and the responsibility.

Step 6

Communicate to your tween that you will think about theirproposition.

Step 7

Once you have made your decision, communicate this in the form of a list of pros and cons, taking your time to motivate each so your tween understands.

Step 8

If your decision was no, propose reconsidering having them handle their own social media account when they grow a bit older. Give them a timeline if they ask for one.

Step 9

If you do allow them to have a social media account, set rules and responsibilities which may include monitoring their cellphone activities, buying a set rate of data and having their passwords to check on the communication exchanged through the accounts.

Switch up your kiddie’s lunchbox and say goodbye to boring old fashioned sandwiches.

Your tween can still eat healthily and incorporate all the fruits and vegetables without skipping a step. We’ve compiled some five easy lunchbox ideas that you can customise to suit your child’s needs.

1. Buy tortilla wraps and fill them with hummus, tzatziki sauce, beef or chicken, fresh tomatoes, onion or lettuce and pack them in your tween’s lunch box. This is a simple and hassle free meal which has all the nutrition your child needs to be full and healthy.
2. Bake a batch of Blueberry and banana muffins which are filled with antioxidants which makes them perfect for a great midday snack. Don’t add any extra sugar and if you do want to sweeten the muffins look at using brown sugar or honey instead of white for a more healthier option.
3. Make sure those lunchboxes come back empty by including a small container of dip and some fruit, veg or even chicken strips to dip. Add biltong, almond nuts and dried fruit for your child to dip. An icepack and a lunch cooler bag will help keep everything at the right temperature.

4.Make your own mini pizzas and add fresh toppings like tomatoes, avocado, mushrooms, chicken or bacon. Your child will be the envy of the playground as he opens up his colourful and yummy lunch box.

5. Whip up some waffles and you can decide if savoury or sweet is the way to go. Add a small container of cream, syrup and strawberries if you opt for sweet waffles for your child so she can sprinkle the toppings on her waffles at lunch time.

Lunch time doesn’t have to be the usual anymore. Lunchbox preparations can be interesting while still providing all the nutrition that your child needs to stay energised and healthy.

By: Bernice Maune

The school holidays have come and gone and the reality of going back to school is now here.

Your tween may begin to experience the symptoms of school anxiety which are nervousness, tummy aches, and trouble sleeping and emotional bursts.

When it comes to the school environment, children react differently as there are new people, different routines, regulated meal times and activities and a dynamic environment filled with unique personalities.

As a parent you can help them prepare for the change in their normal routine to that of the school going one.

Have a one-on-one

Sit down and speak to your child about school. Being passive about their school experience may make them feel isolated and unable to cope with any negative feelings that arise from the school environment. This is also the time to find out if they are making new friends and what they enjoy about going to school.  Use this time to connect with your tween, listen to concerns they may express and reassure them if they are feeling vulnerable.

Have a positive attitude
Be optimistic about the start of school. Make an outing of shopping for uniforms and stationary. Involve your child as much as possible, do not ask for a list and go buy everything yourself. Help your tween stay positive by asking them to list their favourite things about school. This list can include their favourite teachers, friends, extra-mural activities and subjects. 

Schedule spot visits
Take some time out from work or leave early to take your child lunch at school or to pick them up if they use school transport. Ask them to show you around, take a tour around the grounds and find out where your tween likes hanging out. Show them that you are supportive of their schooling experience.

Emphasise rest

Ask your tween to go to bed earlier. Limit their pre-bedtime activities so that they can wake up refreshed, having gotten enough sleep and ready to concentrate at school.

Meet the teacher

At the beginning of each school year or even during the year, schedule an appointment with the teacher and take your tween along. This will be a good way to stay updated on your child’s progress.

Limit entertainment

The focus should be on your tween dealing with anxiety brought on by school and if they entertainment routine stays the same, this will provide a form of escape for them instead of helping them to cope with reality. Explain that by pursuing other healthier activities such as walking and reading then they will feel better and be enabled to cope with the onset of the school term.

Signs indicating your child may be suffering from school anxiety

• They may display symptoms of depression such as losing interest in daily activities
• They may struggle to concentrate in class
• They may be emotional, bursting in to tears at random moments
• They may be behind in homework
• They may want to be alone and avoid spending time with other members of the family
• Trouble sleeping at night

By: Bernice Maune

Not all children are social butterflies and sometimes they may need some guidance on how to build quality and lasting friendships.

If you’ve noticed that your tween struggles to make or maintain friendships, then it may be time to step in and communicate to them about what the issue could be. Children may find themselves in environments that are overwhelming and their ability to express themselves and make friends becomes affected.

As a parent you can equip your child with personal tools which will make the process of finding and keeping good friends simpler.

Build their self esteem

Affirm your daughter by regularly highlighting her talents and skills. Also compliment her and tell her she is beautiful. Her first point of affirmation should be from her parents and family. With a good sense of self-confidence she will be able to speak up, socialise and feel confident to approach her peers and make friends.

Insist on meal times

By insisting that the family dines together your children will be motivated to communicate, talk about their day and all the new activities that they are involved in. It’s also a safe space to enquire about friends and to offer tips on how they can make friends.

Go on more family outings

This will be the perfect opportunity to see how your child interacts with others.You can then provide feedback based on what you have observed.

Build a creative environment

Create an environment which is colourful and creative. This will allowfor free self-expression and for your tween’s personality to shine through. You can turn an extra room into a creative area where the family paints, draws or escapes to indulge their creativity.

Encourage public speaking

If your child is shy by nature, you can encourage them to get involved in public speaking at school which is a great way to help them overcome their shyness.

Always keep your child’s personality in mind as you seek to guide them. Make them feel comfortable about your help and don’t force them to accept it. You can also make suggestions and if they take you up on it, follow these steps bearing in mind that a relaxed approach will take the pressure off and make them feel at ease.

As your child reaches the tween stage, building an even stronger relationship becomes even more essential to maintaining the bond shared by parent and child.

A good relationship has several factors and these include trust, communication, security, protection and love. With a foundation built on these powerful qualities, a great relationship with your tween becomes less complex and enjoyable.

With your guidance, your tween can also create and establish their own friendships and relationship outside of the family. Bear in mind that as a parent, your tween looks to you as their teacher and the quality of all their other relationships stem from the emotional and social development you have equipped them with.

Boundaries

Your tween must understand that there are clear boundaries between the two of you. You are the parent and in charge of the household. You both respect each other and their feelings are taken into consideration however, you have the final word in the house and they need to adhere to the rules that you have set out.

Understanding
Explain to your tween that having a relationship where there is understanding is important and you will listen to their concerns however, as their parent you are here to provide strong moral leadership. This leadership will prepare them to become responsible, independent and well-functioning adults.

Honesty
For any relationship to work, there must be honesty. This also means that deceit and intentionally misleading one is a no go. As the parent, practise what you preach and be completely transparent with your child. That way they can rely on you to be truthful and this paves the way for them to also tell you the truth.

Encouragement
Your tween will make mistakes. That is human. Teach them to fail forward, so each time a mistake happens they should look at what went wrong and resolve to do better next time, not repeating the same mistake again.

Self-expression
Urge your tween to speak out and voice their opinions. Ask them questions and prompt them to share their feelings without being pushy. Independent thinking should be encouraged in your home while clear guidelines about respect and appreciation for self-expression is made clear.

Not sure if you are raising a tween? Take a look at how you will know your child has reached the tween stage below:

• Starts to become more self-aware and questions their role in the family
• Notices how you treat their siblings and may tend to draw comparisons
• May ask to start spending time alone in their room
• Gives you attitude over stuff that’s never been an issue before.
• Refuses to do what you ask.
• Starts questioning authority and phrases like “you are not the boss of me’’ may be said
• Starts having a robust social life and may request to have a cellphone or to have a social media account
• Back chats
• Slams doors, screams or cries regularly.

Give your child guidance on how they can stay clean and avoid bacteria without it sounding like a mammoth task.

Personal hygiene is a non-negotiable and should form part of your child’s daily routine while at home, school, at a social event on the road or doing extra-curricular activities.

Children get in touch with a lot of dirt and dust as they are particularly active. This dirt and dust can lead to bacteria getting into their systems, resulting in infections, diseases or flu.

“Staring a conversation with your kids about their personal, intimate hygiene and taking the time to teach them how it should be done, is an area which many parents skim over or neglect in one way or another because it makes them feel uncomfortable,” says Lynn Bluff, internationally certified childbirth educator.

For hygiene at home, your child can follow these tips:

• Washing their hands after using the bathroom
• Washing their hands just before eating and afterwards
• Keeping their hands clean before starting any activity or after they have played outside
• Washing their hands thoroughly and scrubbing under the finger nail tips
• Use a clean cloth to dry hands and to wipe their mouth after eating
• Cleaning up after themselves in the kitchen, bathroom and any other living area

Hygiene tips in the kitchen:

• Wash hands before and after handling all food types, especially raw food
• Wash their own dishes and wipe the kitchen table top dry after preparing a meal
• Not talk over food that is being prepared
• Be careful of sticking their fingers into the pot or using a spoon to taste food as this can spread germs

For their personal hygiene they can use these tips as a guide

• Cut finger nails short to reduce amount of bacteria collecting and to prevent illness
• Wear clean clothes every day and place dirty clothes in the washing basket
• Keep their rooms clean and pack away clothes
• Take a shower every day and use personal hygiene products to stay fresh

To start a conversation with your tween about personal hygiene, respect their privacy and sit down for a one on one. Start the conversation by telling them that as they grow older their hygiene needs may change an extra shower or using deodorant or cologne is necessary. Using a suggestive instead of a direct, confrontational tone is more helpful.

You could ask them to go shopping with you for toiletries and if they want to go alone, ask if they have all the information they need to compile a list of personal hygiene products.

Getting into a culture of reading will benefit your child by helping to stimulate brain development and build language skills, literacy and social skills, research has found.  Reading time can be made fun, especially when the whole family takes part and a family book club is formed.

We’ve compiled three must-read books for tweens before the age of 10 which provide not only provide entertainment but are informative, rich in language and are character building.

I am Malala

Co-written by Christine Lamb, this is a stirring autobiography of a girl who stood up for her right to be educated in turbulent Pakistan. Her actions led to her being shot by the Taliban but she survived and has inspired millions around the world with her fearless activism and courage. This book will inspire your tween to find meaning and purpose in life at a young age.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

A Roald Dahl classic, this is an easy read which has a strong message of morality. It chronicles the colourful and vivid adventures of Charlie and five kids who win a competition to visit the eccentric Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. This is a great book to stir your child’s imagination and is highly entertaining and gripping. It is also quite simple to follow and understand.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone

The Harry Potter Series is quite addictive so don’t be surprised if your tween ends up wanting to read the whole series. Following the life of Harry Potter, a human who has magical powers which he received at birth, the book is filled with a magical plot, characters who are well rounded and fascinating and copious illustrations which capture mood. This is an excellent book to improve your tween’s vocabulary while providing an interesting read.

Tips for choosing books according to age

Age 1-5: 

• Select books with pictures about animals, fruits, colours and numbers.
• Pick old school fairytaleseg.Snowwhite, Three little pigs but with big bold letters and more pictures.
• Try and find books with a series of stories about the characters going on adventures and exploring different cultures, languages etc. Dora the explorer (Spanish), Thoko (Zulu)

Age 5-10:

• They start to show interest in the story lines and want you to actually read and explain things to them.
• Choose books on morality, eg. lying, stealing etc. The boy who cried wolf
• Select books on history of our country, their culture and the world.
• Children’s bible stories (if it applies)
• Books about their bodies to teach them what’s right and wrong.
• Books to help them with their school work.

Parent tip: Make books a part of family life – Always have books around at home. That way you and your children are ready to get reading, even if it’s only for ten minutes.

Let your tweens try their hand at making dinner with these simple, child-proof recipes. They may just surprise you and show themselves to be talented chefs in the making. The best part about having your kids make themselves meals is that it can save you time and when you are home late, they can survive by preparing their own meals.

If you are not sure how to start follow our guide to simple recipes then supervise as they take over the main event.

Before getting started, always emphasise that they should use blunt utensils and if there is any equipment to be used, especially electrical appliances, supervise or assist them to use.

Boiled egg and mayo sandwiches (for 7 years and up)
Eggs take about 15 to 20 minutes to boil and ripen. Your tween can add mayo on bread and the eggs with ease.

Toasted cheese and tomato/ham
This fairly simple recipe will take about 15 minutes to do. They should able to operate the snackwich maker.

Wraps with leftover mince, or shredded chicken: add cheese, avocado etc
Fill tortilla wraps with last night’s mince or shredded chicken. Your tween can choose which extra fillings they would like to add like cheese, tomato, avocado or lettuce. This is a healthy option as well.

Ice lollies
This can be made from cooldrink or juice for hot days. (They pour the drink into shaped ice trays themselves).

Home made pizza
They can choose and add their own toppings to the base.

Homemade burgers with their own toppings
Instead of frying the hamburger patties on the stove, they can microwave them which will take about 5 minutes and is a safer option then them operating the stove themselves.

Toast
An old favourite, kids can just addtheir favourite spreads or toppings like jam, nutella, cheese spread or butter.

Birthday parties no longer need to be filled with the usual boring gifts, instead you can spruce things up by picking activities for your tween to discover which are unique and extremely entertaining for tween boys.

Exotic animal farm
Purchase a voucher for a visit to an animal farm where your tween will get to spend the day petting and taking pictures of exotic animals. He can go with a bunch of friends and will secure bragging rights of all the cool animals he saw.

Ziplining
A zipline tour will have your tween doing a form of bungee jumping without the extremities. Zipline tours are safe for children over the age of 7 and are available around the country.

Virtual rollercoaster
Take your tween on a virtual tour when he can experience a roller coaster ride while standing in one spot or play a shooting game with opponents. The realistic sensation is a memory he will never forget.

Swim with crocs
Croc dives have become all the rage. You can visit a crocodile farm and under supervision take a dive and explore these scaly and fascinating creatures up-close.

4-d theatre shows
Theme parks are fail proof way to impress little boys. Except bring in a surprise and have your boy experience a 4-d theatre complete with water, movement and smell. Watch your tween shriek in excitement and watch all the effects in wonder.

The tween years are an awkward phase for parents because your child isn’t a baby anymore and they aren’t exactly a teenager yet.

Those years in between tend to be filled with experiences that will challenge your abilities and knowledge as a parent while your child will have to deal with the urge of expressing themselves  more, finding out what activities they enjoy and understanding themselves and how they feel.

We’ve brought you a five step list on how you can grow with your tween through this phase:

1. Understand that communication is key and you need to speak to your tween as often as you can to find out where they stand and how they feel. They are maturing emotionally day by day and keeping track of what they are thinking and feeling is the best way to stay connected to them.
2. You may not always know where you stand with your son or daughter and that’s okay. Trust the process – that they are growing and that your role as a parent will always come first. Your guidance and word should always be final, as long as your tween knows that then you will get through the tumultuous times.
3. Have one on one time with your tween and make it a priority to find out how they are coping at school. Take interest in their personal lives and be there for them. Sometimes just listen – that may be all they need.
4. Apologise when you are wrong. Set the precedent for a healthy relationship where everyone’s feelings are acknowledged and say sorry when you are wrong.
5. Ask for help. You may be the parent but you may need help to understand your tween’s moods or behaviour now and then. Either way, there is nothing wrong with seeking help to grow your parenting skills and to be a better friend to your tween.

According to education.co.za, both homeschool and public school have multiple benefits for children and the decision to select a form of schooling depends on the parents and how they envision their child progressing in their academic career.

The education website encourages parents to thoroughly research both academic options with a view to understanding how the decision will impact every sphere of their child’s life.

“Take homeschool, for example, you can be 100 percent certain that that your child will be in a safe and calm environment daily. Advocates for homeschooling  say children succeed better in a comfortable, safe environment that they are accustomed to,” the website states.

Children are also able to concentrate on their schoolwork and not be affected by peer pressure with homeschool.

With public schools, it has been identified that children who grow familiar with a busy and changing environment tend to become more successful as they learn and are equipped with lifelong skills which will enable them to make decisions in their personal and professional lives.

However, the disadvantages of homeschool are that children become less socialised and they may have challenges with adapting to changing environments and connecting with their peers.

While with public school, the drawbacks are that children do not always get the help they need because of a large number of pupils in a class room.

This ratio can be 1:20 in primary school and in high school it can go up to 1:30. Consequently, there may have to be self-directed learning or parents may have to get a tutor for after school lessons to attend to their child’s educational needs.

Ultimately, the decision lies with the parents and their goal in developing their child’s academic needs to enable them to cope and become successful professionally.

The case for public school

• Children get to learn in a stimulated environment
• The exposure to children from various backgrounds leads to specialised social skills where the emotional intelligence of kids are developed
• There are many extra mural activities both sport and cultural which kids can participate in
• Parents can work without any issue as their children are at school with the options of after care
• There is a level of competition in public schooling which can be healthy as kids learn to adapt and become results focused in their personal lives and later on professionally

Why homeschooling could be the way to go

• It is less expensive then public or private education where fees, extra mural activities, uniforms, stationery and excursions can cost thousands per year.
• Children can get paced according to their level of understanding
• Stress and anxiety from peer pressure and the school environment is limited, allowing kids to develop their emotional intelligence in a safe and familiar background
• Attention is entirely focused on the child so their needs are taken into consideration with problems being able to be identified early on
• Gifted children can work faster through their workload while slow kids can get individualised help to work through their weaknesses
• When taught by parents, homeschooling provides an opportunity for bonding and a closer relationship

Watch this video on the pros and cons of homeschool and public school

https://youtu.be/w9OlhikDBDo

Additional sources: www.homeducator.com, www.education.co.za

Children experience anxiety and stress emanating from the pressures of school and maintaining a social life balance together with their duties and responsibilities at home. As a parent, the onus is on you to prepare them for the pressures of the world which escalate as they grow older.

You can help them develop healthy ways to cope with stress and solve problems that may arise. We’ve rounded up a few ideas on how you can equip your tween to cope.

Create a safe environment

The environment at home should be one where your tween is able express themselves freely and honestly. Make this possible by asking your family to talk about their day and how their experience at school was. Each family member should contribute and everyone should listen and ask questions. Genuine interest in how your tween is doing at school and elsewhere will enable him to speak up about what’s bothering him.

Listen

Sometimes it’s best to just listen and hear your tween out. As the parent you may be keen to offer advice and immediately come up with solutions to an issue your child may be facing but allow her space to think about how she can solve her own problems. Offer advice after you have heard them out and do so in a gentle and loving manner.

Acknowledge your child’s feelings

If you can see that your child is bothered by something, say so and name what you think your child may be feeling. This can help them to identify their feelings and they will appreciate you acknowledging their feelings.

Help your child come up with solutions

Take the lead in helping your child think of solutions to the problems they have. They should know that they are not alone and have you to guide them and to step into make things better. If they are being bullied then that would require immediate action for you to see the teacher and parents of the bully.

Assist your child to form healthy coping tactics

The best way to do this is by showing them how you cope with issues. Let them see you make decisions and communicate how you deal with challenges. They should be able to see you journal, cry, laugh, go to the spa for a massage or just talk to a friend. This will show them how to cope in future using healthy tactics.

Playing outdoors is a win-win situation for everyone in the house. Your tween gets to explore and enjoy the weather while you get to focus on completing important tasks or getting rest.

But how can you get your child to go outdoors more? Follow our tips and you’ll find out exactly how to make your tween more adventurous.

1. Take indoor toys outdoors
   Position someofyour child’s favourite toys outside. This will encourage them to play outside instead of indoors and get them into a routine of dividing their time outside and indoors.
2. Teddy bear picnics

Host a tea party with all your tween’s best dolls outside.

3. Trip to the park

Not all of us are lucky enough to have big gardens to play in, so why not head out to your local park and play on the swings?

4. Planting seeds and watering plants

Create your own garden and plant seeds with the help of your little one. Watch the seeds grow into plants and give them the responsibility of watering the garden. This way they’ll look forward to going outside and checking up on their plants.

5. Building a den or treehouse

Build a treehouse where your tween can escape to and play. On some days, they can even camp out at the treehouse provided there is supervision.

6. Bird watching

If you don’t already have one, get a bird table and some nuts and seeds and watch out for the different birds who visit the garden with your little one. They will learn the different species and will love to see rare or unusual birds coming for a snack.

Kids are assigned homework and large amounts of it almost on an everyday basis.

If the homework assigned is excessive, or if the content is too difficult for a child’s capabilities, working through the homework sufficiently and effectively can take time.

This can make it a challenge for kids to understand their assignments and lead to stress which can affect your tween’s self-confidence and ability to handle large volumes of homework at a time.

Even very bright and organized kids can experience undue stress from homework, and those with attention problems, learningdisabilities or mood symptoms can become disorganized and deregulated, creating a vicious cycle.

Here are five tips to make homework time more faster and easier

1. Use a timer. This works particularly well for kids who may struggle balancing and working according to a schedule or time. Use a timer to prompt them to work faster.  Reset it again if needed.   Or, try “if you can sit down and start working in the next 5 minutes, you can earn ‘x’as a reward.”
2. Invest in a tutor who will visit your tween periodically to help with the workload. This is especially helpful when both parents are working late or have other demands.
3. Ban social media. These are distractions which will take away from time which could be used to complete homework earlier.
4. Be available. Don’t do their work for them, but stay nearby, help guide them and keep giving positive feedback.
5. Don’t let them multitask.Let your tween work on the hardest subject first then tackle the next.

The scene is all too familiar. You ask your daughter to do the dishes and immediately her shoulders droop, her smiles fades and she mumbles while walking less than excitedly to the kitchen. Fact is kids don’t like doing chores.

Most of them dread them with their whole being but it’s a necessary part of life, instilling responsibility and creating a work ethic in them that will stand them in good stead when they grow older.

Parents sometimes have to trick or give their children incentives to do the chores. We’ve come up with a list of tips and tricks that will have your tween skipping on their way to mowing the lawn instead of sulking.

Have a song ready for each chore

Instead of doing a chore in total silence, consider coming up with a song to accompany the chore. This can make the chore fun and something to look forward to. Task each child to create a song for the chore and offer a prize for the best chore song.

Give out an award for a completed chore

With each completed chore, your tween can get a gold star or a reward. Make the reward age appropriate and a treat so that they can start looking forward to completing chores.

Get the whole family to chip in

Make it a family occasion by asking everyone to contribute and take responsibility for a chore. This can be a great bonding session where everyone is able to accomplish a task and have fun while at it. Just keep everyone focused by reminding them that each is working towards a common goal.

Encourage your tween

Keep the chore conversation light and full of positivity so that your tween is encouraged to work hard, do their best and not complain. Once they receive positive feedback, doing chores will become a positive activity which they will end up looking forward to.

Hand the chore responsibility over

Keep track of their progress as they do each chore but hand the responsibility of coming up with a chore over to your kids. This way they’ll come up with innovative ways to keep the house clean or they will think of places to clean that everyone else may have neglected. This results in a win-win situation for everyone.

We want our children to excel at school and get good grades. It’s important to establish that kids doing well at school is what every parent wants to see happen for their little one.

Yet as much as we want them to work hard and reap the rewards, we also need to be realistic about how our children’s academic endeavours may not always live up to our expectations.

If your child gets bad grades, sit down with them and talk to find out what went wrong.

Meeting

Schedule a meeting that is private where the two of you can talk without anyone overhearing. It’s better to ask one parent to handle the conversation as your tween might see it as an ambush if both parents are present. Give your child an opportunity to explain what went wrong and to ask for help or support. Be calm and hear your tween out.

One on one

After the initial meeting, schedule regular check-ins with your tween. This should be done casually so that your child doesn’t feel like they are under surveillance.

Support

Offer as much support as you can so that your tween knows that there is assistance to get them back on track.

Encouragement

Besides support, encourage your child by being there for them whenever they need to talk and by providing them with books, movies and activities that will propel them to work hard and to excel at school.

Tutoring

 

A tutor can give your child academic support which will solve their school problems and misunderstandings in a way that you may not be able to. Consider investing in one to enable your tween to have additional study aides and academic advice so that they can produce better results.