Parking is no easy feat at the Herald

• Journalist Roxy de Villiers writes:

So Randfontein, as you know, the Herald’s baby-flu is contagious. As a result we have had some changes within our team.

We now have Bianca Pindral with us as our temporary journalist. She was previously an intern at the Herald. Bianca has been joined by Alanicka Lotriet (known fondly as Lanie) – our academy cadet who is back to serve time as a journalist.

Lanie recently obtained her driver’s licence, which is a milestone for anyone. Now, Lanie reminds me a lot of Maritza (who is off on leave having had the baby-flu) in that they both seem to know a K53 driving style that’s very different from the one I was taught. I suppose in this case we can call it the K54, because they seem to always have at least one more turn in the usual three-point turn.

Maritza was always at least five minutes late for work because she would first have to park her car a few times before it fitted into the space. Lanie is now walking in her footsteps – the other morning I had to quickly park my car in another spot to avoid having to wait for her to complete the inevitable eight-point turn.

A few minutes later, Bianca parked her car, and we had a coffee and chatted about stories for the rest of the week while watching Lanie pull back and forth into her parking space.

On the same day, Lanie went out to an appointment, whipped out her K54 driving skills and exited the parking area in exactly six turns.

The other night we worked a bit late and went to the store for some snacks. We decided to all go in Lanie’s car – and what an experience it was.

When I climbed in, I saw a normal car, but when she got in, she saw an aeroplane. It was like something out of a movie. I felt as if she would demonstrate where the emergency exits are and point out the location of the life-rafts in case of a crash at any moment. The panic on her face was unlike anything I have ever seen.

The plane was about to lift off – seat belts on because anything could happen between the Herald’s office and the Greenhills circle – a whole 800m away. Control the clutch, handbrake down, Taylor Swift on. Lanie said Taylor Swift has a calming effect on her.

Off we went – at 40km/h – to the Greenhills Circle, with Taylor blasting out of the radio’s speakers. I still don’t understand how we drove at 40km/h to the Circle but parked at 80km/h, as though the tiny car behind us was going to use up all five of the last open spots to park.

Now, if you think I’m exaggerating, parking in the Herald’s parking lot is no easy feat. Just the other day, I decided to play bumper cars with our sales representative, Amanda van Zyl’s car. Yes, the dent in her car could have been repaired, but she likes to keep it there as a memento and ammunition for when we have disagreements.

The fact of the matter, Randfontein, is drive safe and park safe.