Those of us who have Facebook accounts might have noticed during the past week how many Randfontein community members were involved in collecting water for the purpose of transporting it to people and specifically farmers in drought- stricken areas.
From the pictures posted it is clear that many litres of water were collected and transported by people who have not received any form of compensation for their hard work.
These people, however, understand that their collective effort and sacrifice will benefit them personally when they are able to purchase good-quality and affordable food from their local stores – food that comes directly from the farms they provided with water.
The same principle can apply to divorced or separated parents of young children. Please grant me the opportunity to explain.
It is true that many families in our community are re-organised due to divorce or separation. Such a life event can be very traumatic and influence the parental relationship that needs to continue regardless of the status of the romantic relationship. Having to continue a parental relationship with the person who has caused you to suffer emotionally surely is not easy.
However, putting your own feelings aside and taking into consideration what your child needs to develop into a well-adjusted adult, might help you to view such a challenge from a different angle.
It is believed that all good parents want what is best for their children and see them happy. Research provides evidence that it is very important for a child to have the opportunity to receiving support from both parents.
Evidence suggests that children from divorced families who are able to maintain meaningful relationships with both parents perform much better at school compared to their peers who do not enjoy parental involvement from both their mothers and fathers.
This again brings me to the theory that when divorced or separated parents make a collective effort to work together by means of co-parenting or parallel parenting, the results they will achieve as parents will be far greater than when they work against each other. However, co-parenting is possible only when both parents support their children’s need to have a relationship with the other parent and respect that parent’s right to have a healthy relationship with the children.
A tall order, maybe? Not when the greater good it will bring everybody involved is taken into account.
I am aiming to bring more information to readers on the subjects relating to different styles of parenting post divorce or separation.
However, it will be very helpful to know more about the challenges divorced or separated parents are experiencing; therefore I am encouraging such parents to share their thoughts with me at SandriAppelgryn@gmail.com.
