Showing your child good behaviour

Literature on educational psychology tells us that children up until the age of 7 look at their parents to take example on how to behave. It also encourage parents to ensure that their child’s critical thinking skills are established at that age as once your child reaches the age of 7 he or she will increasingly form close relationships with other significant people who will then have an influence on his thoughts and behavior.

What does this really mean to us as parents? In simple terms it means that we cannot expect our children to be well-adjusted with social acceptable behavior if we are not setting good examples with our own behavior, words and actions.

Often it is surprising to hear parents’ expectations of their children. How can we expect children in the same household to get along if their parents are constantly involved in arguments and conflict? Verbal abuse, family violence and continious animosity are part of the daily routine of many children. Why would it then surprise us if children behave aggressively towards each other on the play ground?

It is therefore essential that we take some time to think about the example we are setting for our children and consider the impact the media and other social influences will have on their behaviour if we do not show them social acceptable behaviour.

Areas we can focus on include:

• Health – ensure that you look after your own health. This will teaches your child respect for his own body. It will also make him think twice when being confronted with drugs, alcohol and cigarettes at a very young age;

• Conflict – show your child by example how to handle his emotions. If you are having difficulty handling conflict in your own life, for example if you are unable to resolve conflict with your child without screaming and losing your temper – PLEASE seek professional help to help you develop and increase your own emotional intelligence.

• Respect for others – this refers to being emphatic towards other people. Road rage, racism, etc have no place in the life of a well adjusted person;

• Listening abilities – teach your child to listen to others and to respond appropriately to another person’s views and wishes.

Please send your thoughts or questions about this topic to SandriAppelgryn@gmail.com.