Girls and Boys Town: Absent fathers cause damage
'Many of our GBT kids wear the scars of growing up without a positive father figure or role-model.'
No one ever suggested that parenting was easy or straight-forward and the child and youth care organisation Girls and Boys Town (GBT) is encouraging families to celebrate and support the committed dads who are doing a wonderful job.
Lee Loynes, CEO of GBT says a lot of work is required to raise children in a way that ensures they develop necessary qualities to cope with life in a sometimes harsh and unfriendly world.
Expecting our vulnerable and often abused youth whose fathers are unknown to them to become independent and productive members of society is often a challenge.
A study conducted by the SA Institute of Race Relations estimated that in 2009, 48 percent of South African children have fathers who are alive and well but do not feature or play an active role in their lives.
Girls and Boys Town can attest to the prevalence of “fatherless” children through its interaction with youth who come from so-called broken homes.
Many of our GBT kids wear the scars of growing up without a positive father figure or role-model.
“The effects of this include feeling rejected or unloved, having difficulty trusting or relating appropriately to male figures and sometimes demonstrating disruptive behaviours that can compromise their performance at school,” says Ms Loynes.
If left unmanaged, such situations could have a negative outlook for the youth concerned. GBT however, places a great emphasis on the positive by developing the skills of and empowering parents who need support.
Through such engagements, parents are left feeling more confident about building healthy relationships with their children in order to understand and discipline them more effectively.
These lessons are taught through the organisation’s evidence-based programme, ‘Common Sense Parenting’.
“Our training focuses on and enhances what parents are doing well, rather than reminding them of what they are doing wrong. Sometimes the difficulties that prevail at home can cause parents and children to become discouraged about seeing an improvement.
In many instances, all that those families need is to know that somebody cares,” adds Ms Loynes.
GBT believes that while the alarming statistics about the state of fatherhood in the country may persist, it is important to shine a light on the positive side.
“We must do more than buy gifts to celebrate the men who are doing a wonderful job as fathers on occasions like Father’s Day. If we don’t, we might miss precious opportunities to say “well done”, “bravo” and “thank you” to the fathers of our nation who are raising the custodians of our future.
“It’s about getting on the right track, growing confidence from there and learning to enjoy the real gifts of fatherhood – which are love, trust and mutual protection,” concludes Ms Loynes.
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Also read:
Boys and Girls town strike millions
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