Are you a victim? Here’s some help
Information to help those who have fallen victim to abuse.
Captain Paula Terblanche from the Krugersdorp Police’s Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offence Unit provided some information to help those who have fallen victim to abuse.
Police say it is the community’s responsibility to report any form of abuse.
These are the numbers to call:
– National Crime Stop: 08600 10111
– Gender Based Violence helpline: 0800 150 150
– Childline: 0800 055 555
– Suicide Helpline: 0800 567 567
– POWA: 011 642 4345/ 6
– National Aids Helpline: 0800 012 322
– Your local Community Policing Forum
• At home, women must be aware of the warning signs of a domestic violent relationship.
Captain Terblanche added the following:
• In the street, never walk or travel alone. The most important thing in you life is your life.
• Rape and sexual violence are a national shame in our homes, schools and communities. We must act together to put an end to it now!
• There’s no place for perpetrators of rape in our communities. Report them, expose them and partner with police.
• When you know that someone’s being abused in your or their home, you have a duty to report it.
• Do not to leave your children alone with strangers, neighbours, friends or relatives you do not trust.
• No one has the right to rape, shove, kick, slap or punch you. If they love you, they will not harm you.
• Don’t suffer in silence. If you are being physically, psychologically (mentally), emotionally or sexually abused in a relationship, it’s important that you seek help.
• Talk to someone you can trust. Confide in a friend, neighbour, relative, spiritual leader, elder, doctor or a counsellor.
• It is not your fault. There’s no excuse for any form of abuse and you don’t have to put up with it. Physical and emotional abuses are against the law and help is available through the legal system.
• Go to the Domestic Violence court closest to you and apply for a protection order.
• Don’t get into an abusive relationship. Look out for the warning signs. Terminate dangerous relationships prematurely. Know that suspicious behaviour and borderline personalities will not change.
• Avoid confrontations in rooms where there is only one exit.
• Avoid rooms that contain many potential weapons, such as kitchens.
• Always carry a list of emergency numbers.
• Ensure that family members and friends have a copy of the protection order.
• Keep money in a safe place for public transport.
• Keep an extra set of keys for the house/ car.
• Have all essential documents ready (ID documents, medical card, saving cards).
• Have a bag of clothes for yourself and your children ready and keep it in a safe place.
• Teach your children not to get into the middle of a fight even if they want to help.
• Use a safe computer when you look for help, a new place to live, etc.
• Create a new email account with a new password from a safe computer.
• Change passwords and PIN numbers.
• Use a donated or new cellphone when planning.
• If you are using a cellphone provided by the abuser, turn it off when not in use so that the GPS cannot be traced.
• Remove yourself from social networking pages such as Facebook. Information posted on these sites can compromise your safety through photos that reveal your residence and through friends your abuser knows who link to your social site.
• Change your phone number an block caller ID.
• Alert your neighbours to call the police if they see the abuser nearby. Create a signal that will tell them they should call.
• Change the locks to all doors.
• Get a private mailbox and do not give your real physical address.
• Provide a photo of your abuser to your colleagues, the security at your workplace and to your children’s teachers and school administrators. Advise them not to allow the abuser on the premises.
• Make sure your child’s school and your employer know not to give your address or phone number to anyone.
• Vary your schedule as much as possible. Change your habits. Shop at different stores at different times.
• At work, have a security guard accompany you to your car.
• What are some warning signs to an abusive partner?
– Low self-esteem
– Controlling behaviour
– Uses isolation to keep you centred on them
– Poor communication skills
– Blame others for their actions
– Alternating personality/ Jekyll and Hyde behaviour
– Excessively jealous
– Has unrealistic expectations or demands
– Use of force during intercourse
– Use of negative behaviours to cope with stress
– Prone to hypersensitivity
– Exhibits cruelty to animals or children
• Tips for getting support from friends or loved ones:
– Have a code word to use with your children, family and friends when in need
– Document signs of physical abuse. Take photographs of injuries or bruises
– Inform your manager about the circumstances at home
– If you’re planning to leave, do so when the partner is not around, and take the children with you
