Why women apparently divorce their husbands …

While listening to the radio recently, I heard about the 10 reasons why women divorce their husbands.

Allegedly, about 40 000 women in the UK took part in the survey. Yes it was in another country but I’m married and decided to turn up the volume as it was interesting, and now I would like to share it with you as everyone can relate to it. There was, however, no elaboration, so I attempt to explain as well as I can. *Please note: My take on the matter is not a fact, it’s just a man’s point of view.

Coming in at #10 is money. I would’ve thought this one would be right up there! Surely one can understand a woman feeling insecure without any financial support but, what if the man was retrenched, for example? Does love not overpower it all and should both not hang in there?

In at #9 is household problems. That’s probably because we husbands don’t help around the house.

Then at #8, and very surprising for me, is physical abuse. There is clearly less physical abuse up North than here in South Africa and this is why … In an article the Herald published during February this year entitled ‘Shocking study of violence against SA’s women’ [https://www.citizen.co.za/randfontein-herald/269675/shocking-study-violence-sas-women/],we stated that approximately 84 women would die at the hands of an intimate partner in South Africa that month, and that most women who seek refuge at a shelter are under the age of 35. Two years ago, in an article entitled ‘Violence against women, children a problem worldwide’ [https://www.citizen.co.za/randfontein-herald/235394/violence-against-women-children-a-problem-worldwide/] we said that “Worldwide, 35 per cent of all women have been physically or sexually abused – either by an intimate partner or a stranger”, while in 2015, Tracey-Ann Melville, an ER24 trauma counsellor, said far too many women are trapped in abusive relationships.

In at #7 is burden, which could mean one partner is either doing more chores than the other or one is taking more strain financially then than the other. Maybe this is the sense of feeling bothered or annoyed by your partner?

Jumping to #6 is misconduct. I’m guessing they are referring to sexual misconduct. I needed to Google this one but according to the University of Iowa, “Sexual misconduct is a broad term encompassing any unwelcome behavior of a sexual nature that is committed without consent or by force, intimidation, coercion, or manipulation. Sexual misconduct can be committed by a person of any gender, and it can occur between people of the same or different genders.”

At #5 is mental illness. A ‘mental disorder’ has been described as “a wide range of conditions that affect mood, thinking and behaviour”. Some of the most common types include depression, biopolar disorder, schizophrenia and dementia. Could it be that people split up because of their loved one’s mental state?

Then at #4 is a lack of intimacy. Need I say more …?

At #3 is constant quarreling. The dictionary defines quarreling as “an angry argument or disagreement.”

In at #2 is infidelity, also very simply explained by the dictionary as “being unfaithful, or having an affair”.

The #1 reason, and a big surprise to me, is different life goals. To me, that could mean that one partner wants to work on something and achieve something for their own satisfaction, but the other one is either holding them back or standing in their way.