Pregnancy
Natural remedies for morning sickness
Nothing can dampen the excitement of pregnancy like morning sickness.
The name, however, is very misleading as morning sickness can happen at any time during the day or night.
It is most common during the first trimester, but for some women morning sickness lingers throughout pregnancy.
Treatment isn’t usually needed, although various home remedies often help relieve nausea.
Check with your doctor first, before ingesting any home remedy while pregnant.
Try herbal tea. Nothing beats morning sickness faster than a cup of ginger tea. To make ginger tea, boil 30 grams dried ginger in one cup water for 15 to 20 minutes, strain, and sip.
Eat small, frequent meals and snacks throughout the day so your stomach is never empty. Some women find that carbohydrates are most appealing when they feel nauseated, but one small study found that high-protein foods were more likely to ease symptoms. Whatever you eat, eat it slowly.
Nausea can become worse if you’re tired, so give yourself time to relax and take naps when you can. Watching a movie or visiting a friend can help relieve stress and take your mind off your discomfort.
Cold, slushy drinks like ice chips or frozen lemonade are great options to soothe your stomach while taking in fluids. Try making refreshing strawberry and peach ice lollies to relieve your nausea while taking in folic acid, B vitamins and vitamin A.
Although it is uncomfortable, nausea is just a sign that all is well with you and your baby, and that your baby is growing and developing as it should.
Why these three natural oils are the best way to minimise stretch marks during pregnancy
By: Bernice Maune
Natural oils can offer an uncomplicated remedy for developing stretch marks which tend to appear along the stomach, thigh, back and arms. Although they may become more prominent during pregnancy, stretch marks the medical term which is striae distensae or striae gravidarum, can look like indented streaks in
your skin.
They may be red, purple, or silver in appearance. Anyone can gain stretch marks although they have been found to occur more in pregnancy when the skin expands due to your growing belly and weight gain.
According to Healthline.com, it’s estimated that 50 to 90 percent of pregnant women will develop stretch marks before delivery.
Natural oils are an inexpensive way to minimise the appearance of stretch marks and when used consistently they can lighten stretch marks.
According to a study by the University of Michigan, natural oils may be more effective in minimising stretch marks then creams as they are a nourishing way to feed your skin.
“We are finding a lot of changes in the second layer of the skin, which is called the dermis, including changes in elastic fibers, which is what this recent study was about,” Dr. Frank Wang, of Michigan University told Fit Pregnancy.
“What we haven’t published yet is that there are other changes occurring. The problem with a lot of the current creams and other modalities available is that they don’t seem to be able to effectively prevent those changes—or, for that matter, repair those changes once they’ve occurred. Very few products seem to be effective.”
Natural oils are also safe to use during pregnancy as they contain no fragrance, parabens, mineral oils and other ingredients that could be harmful for the human body.
Coconut oil
This oil is a natural remedy for many skin ailments. Some of its benefits are that it keeps the skin supple, smooth and reduces the appearance of scars and marks.
It also has a nourishing effect which brings a glow. Apply it generously and immediately after taking a bath or shower about two times a day to see results.
Vitamin E
Combine this oil with orange oil or castor oil for a multi-oil blend which will doubly fight the presence of stretch marks on the skin. These combinations keep the skin moisturised with Vitamin E being a natural skin booster.
Olive oil
This multi-use oil is rich in anti-oxidants which is able to reverse damage from cancer-causing ultraviolet radiation. Olive oil is also a moisturiser which has the ability to keep skin radiant and glowing which will aid in the reduction of stretch marks.
Other ways to prevent and reduce stretch marks
– Eat foods rich in protein, vitamin C, D and E to increase elasticity in your skin.
– Exercise to keep your skin supple. Exercise can also cause you to sweat leading to the release of toxins from your skin.
– Take Vitamin C supplements or eat fruit that contains high amounts of Vitamin C such as citrus fruits (oranges, lemons, naartjies). Vitamin C is they key component of collagen which helps to keep skin free of wrinkles and unsightly marks.
– Include zinc containing foods in your dies. Nuts and fish have high traces of zinc which aids your skin in healing.
– During pregnancy, go for body massages to boost the circulation of blood throughout your body and in your skin. This can help to brings toxins to the fore, helping you to maintain elasticity in the skin.
– Drink two litres of water a day to keep your system hydrated. Soft skin doesn’t tend to develop stretch marks as much as dry skin does.
Why eating for two is really a myth
This myth has been around for ages and some mothers have fallen for it, believing that doubling their portions will result in healthier babies.
Well that is not true and not only is this myth unhealthy it could also lead to excessive weight gain for mom.
According to the Institute of Medicine if your Body Mass Index is normal for your age and your weight healthy then there is no need to consume more calories during your first semester.
In the second trimester however, you can increase your calorie intake by 340 extra calories and 45 extra calories. Depending on if you are under or over weight, you will need more or less. It is best to consult your dietician for the exact calorie intake.
If you are pregnant with twins or more babies than you will need to eat more, however the exact portions should be calculated by your dietician. Dikeledi Mfecanse, a business and development manager from Northgate is a mom to 18-month old Lilitha and five-year old Owethu. With both her pregnancies she found it easy to not buy into the myth of eating for two as she read up extensively on diet and managed her portions.
“No one really knows what portion of their food is going to their baby and because of this I stuck to my normal eating routine. I just made sure to indulge all my cravings of burgers and ice-cream.” Lorraine Sithole, a data analyst from Pretoria and mom to two-year old Steph says she believed eating for two was necessary for her baby’s growth and development.
“I believed this myth and ate double of everything believing that my baby needed to be nourished separately. I was concerned that my baby wasn’t getting enough food and by eating for two, I thought that she would be full separately from me. My weight ballooned and I gained close to 30 kgs from eating for two. Looking back I wish I had done things differently, I now know that eating for two is a myth and that my baby will get sufficient nutrients from my normal diet.”
Registered dietician Frances Largeman-Roth of Baby Centre gives meal options on which nutritious food to add to your diet during pregnancy which will make you feel full for longer.
– Include nutrient filled foods such as avocados which are rich in potassium, mangos which are a good supply of vitamin A and C and walnuts which contain omega 3s and protein.
– Greek yoghurt is a healthy snack that will fill you while providing calcium and healthy live cultures.
– An apple with two tablespoons of peanut butter will take care of your protein needs and make you feel fuller for longer.
The do’s and don’ts of exercising while pregnant
By: Bernice Maune
Keeping fit while pregnant has multiple benefits which not only affect you but the precious cargo you are carrying as well. While getting medical advice is important before getting into any rigorous physical activity, you may find that staying fit during your pregnancy is a great way to prepare your body for labour and the birth itself. We’ve listed what you must take note of before opting to start exercising during your pregnancy.
Do’s
1. Start off with some light exercise before attempting any strenuous activity.
Walking a few blocks around your suburb or neighbourhood or taking the stairs instead of the lift is a simple way of beginning your pregnancy fitness journey.
2. If you have an active gym membership, explore classes such as yoga and pilates where the focus is on stretching, breathing and light cardio. Water sports are also a fun and interactive way to keep your fitness levels up. These classes are also safe if you are far along in your pregnancy.
3. Exercising does not have to be limited to the gym, you can also turn your home into your own fitness haven by using your carpet as a base on which to stretch, when seated – your chair can support your legs as you lift them up and down, bearing in mind that slow, controlled movements are better while squats and lunges can be done in a spare bedroom or in your garden. These exercises are also safe for both you and the baby.
Don’ts
1. Avoid exercises which may require you to stand for long periods of time. This may strain your back and cause you to tire easily.
2. Heavyweight training can put stress on your cardiovascular and musculoskeletal system.
3. Any exercises which involve lying on your stomach must be completely left out including high intensity activities such as horse riding, tennis, netball and soccer. All these exercises can result in abdominal trauma and excessive joint trauma.
Watch: Six safe pregnancy exercises to do while pregnant
Sources: Virtual Medical Centre
Seven different ways to record your pregnancy
Pregnancy is an exciting time filled with amazing moments which leave you in awe of the little life growing inside you.
What’s more awesome is that you can record your growing bump, the first time you heard your baby’s heart beat or your weird cravings in
different ways making for a collection of memories that you can share with your child when they are older and with close family and friends.
We’ve come up with seven cool ways you can document your pregnancy journey.
1. Collect precious moments in a scrap book
Your first sonograph, image of the pregnancy test and pregnancy shoot can go into your scrapbook. Make your scrapbook more colourful by
choosing a theme according to the sex of your baby. If you are having a girl you can go with a ballerina theme and decorate your scrapbook with an image of your first baby outfit which could be a tutu. Go one step further and use ribbons and tutu material to give your scrapbook a
classic ballerina feel.
2. Capture it all on video
Invest in a good, quality video camera or use your cellphone, just make sure that it captures video in HD. Record each month and the milestones on camera such as your doctor’s appointment to find out if you are having a boy or girl, when you pick out colours and furniture for your nursery and also a special message you have for your baby.
3. Timeline tools
This is a great way to chronicle each step of your pregnancy journey. Create a timeline online by collecting all your monumental memories and using Shoebox timeline. The app is easy to use and allows you to share your timeline with loved one.
4. A selfie a day
A fan of selfies? Take your selfie obsession further and create a selfie series. In each selfie, wear the same outfit and put your baby bump in
full view as you record the growth.
5. Cast your belly in stone
Put an artistic twist on recording your pregnancy and cast your belly in clay. You can keep this in your nursery or in a special place in your
home to show your little one day. Decorate your cast belly by painting it or writing inspirational words or a message on it.
6. Journal it
A simple yet touching way to remember your pregnancy is through writing out your experience. Write about how you felt when you found
out you were expecting a baby, your first doctor’s visit, what your partner said when you told him he was about to become a dad and how you
chose to tell family and friends. Record your baby shower experience and the feelings of joy of having your loved ones celebrate your you and
your child.
7. Voice it out with an audio recording
Like a journal, making voice recordings are a great way to chronicle your pregnancy experience. Add background music or share your favourite tracks which made your baby kick in these audio recordings. Record the music that you played your child as he grew in your belly or record your partner talking to your baby.
What ways have you used to record your pregnancy? We’d love to hear from you!
Seven different ways to record your pregnancy
You might feel like the earth could swallow you whole at that moment but trust us, you are not the only one who has had pregnancy oopsies.
Embarrassing moments actually come part and parcel of the pregnancy experience, it’s those moments that you can look back at and laugh which make pregnancy an endearing experience.
So to help you feel better if you’ve already had a few pregnancy oopsies and if you haven’t then you’ll know exactly what to expect with our guide on embarrassing pregnancy moments.
Expect to pee on yourself now and again. During pregnancy your bladder is pressurised by the growing baby so this may result in you laughing or sneezing and letting out some urine. Dikeledi Mfecanse of Randburg says that happened to her all the time.
“I would laugh it off and smile to myself though I couldn’t wait to reach the bathroom to clean myself up.”
This is perfectly normal and usually minute amounts of urine may come out.
You can wear a panty liner if you are fearful of messing on yourself.
You could vomit all over the place and it’s not unlikely that it could be on your own clothes or even worse on your partner or in a public place. Morning sickness and nausea are normal experiences of pregnancy, just stay ready by keeping a ‘barf bag’ in your car, in your desk at work or even in your handbag as it can happen at anytime.
Your body can retain a lot of gas during pregnancy so it may happen that you fart more often and this can happen at anytime. There isn’t really anything you can do to prepare your partner for this so just tell him that it’s a normal part of bring a life into the world.
Refilwe Moagi of Germiston shares that right after giving birth to her son, he urinated in the nurse’s mouth. “I was so embarrassed but we all laughed at it, I guess he thought he was still in my tummy and mistook the nurse’s mouth for my womb.”
Mbali Gushu of Midrand says she was surprised to wake up all shaved down under.
“The nurses prepared me for the birth by giving me a shave. I was too embarrassed to ask which one, let alone thank them so I just kept quiet and pretended not to notice. I could barely do it myself so I appreciated the help.”
Have you had an embarrassing moment during pregnancy? Share it with us!
Baby shower do's and don'ts
By: Bernice Maune
Plan a hassle free baby shower by following our list of do’s and don’ts making for an awesome baby shower filled with precious moments everyone can be proud of.
Generally the first rule in planning a baby shower is finding out if the mom-to-be wants a surprise party or if she wants to be let in on the activities. Once you know what the mom wants then it should making planning easier as you can start arranging a party that will make her happy too.
DO: Serve mocktails
It’s no fun to have a party where some guests can drink and the mom can’t. Rather prepare tasty mocktails that look good and will be refreshing for everyone to drink and enjoy. Go one step further and have colourful, umbrella embellished mocktails to make for pretty images.
DO: Let the mom-to-be in on the planning process
Like we mentioned above, involving the mom in the process is essential to having a great shower. If she has made it clear that she would like a surprise then find out what her preferences are through her partner or close family and friends. Together you can throw a shower that will meet her expectations. If she wants to follow all the steps of the baby shower than indulge her and keep her updated as you pick a theme and invite guests.
DO: Create a theme and ask all the guests to follow through on it
By the time you have the baby shower it will be clear if the mom-to-be is having a boy or a girl. Look at creating a theme where you could follow a sex based theme or an original theme where you incorporate the mom’s favourite music stars or her personality.
DON’T: Subject guests to humiliating party games
The days of having a shower where guests are smeared with body lotions, baby powder and cream are over. These days games are modern and different, allowing everyone to participate, win prizes and mae memories with the mom-to-be.
DON’T: Force people to watch gifts being unwrapped
This can be awkward and is a time waster. Rather allow the mom to open all her gifts at her own time and when she is ready to do so. Guests can tell her themselves what they bought her.
DON’T: Be insensitive
Sometimes one of the guests at the party may have experienced a recent loss. If you are aware of who that may be, give them the space to decline the invite if they want to and if they attend don’t be forceful in trying to get them to participate.
Remember the baby shower is there to be a beautiful occasion where friends and family spoil both baby and mom. Encourage guests to buy the mom gifts too as she may also need to be pampered.
Do you have any ideas on hosting a great baby shower? Do share with us!
Everything you must know about hypnobirthing
This technique which has been popularised by celebrities such as Pink and British royalty Kate Middleton involves a process where the mom uses self-hypnosis to get into an ultra-calm state where she is effectively able to manage the pain experienced during labour.
Before labour and birth, a mom would use self-hypnosis to relax herself, easing body tension and preparing her mind, emotions and body for the birth. Fear is eliminated and replaced with confidence and control as the mother gets ready to give birth.
Hypnobirthing originated from English obstetrician and founder of the Natural Birth Trust, Dr Grantly Dick-Read who studied how women who were fearful of having a natural birth became tense and their muscles stiffened leading to a longer and more difficult birth experience. His work also found that a relaxed state made labour and birth a more positive experience for mothers.
What to expect
According to Hypnobirthing.co.za, the method is based on the idea that fearful mothers release stress hormones leading to oxygenated blood moving to the arms and legs which is part of the natural response of fight or flight. The muscles of the uterus then constrict and become tense with the muscles working against each other and ultimately this results in a painful birth.
During hypnobirthing a mother is able to secrete endorphins which is a natural painkiller and eases the birthing process. Her uterine muscles are more relaxed and instead of restricting the baby’s movement, enable the infant to move more easily down the birth canal.
Advantages of hypnobirthing
- Calms babies down at birth
- The chances of recovery are increased
- Pain is considerably reduced
- It is understood to also reduce the chances of post-natal depression
Disadvantages of Hypnobirthing
- Labour and the process of it cannot exactly be timed, you may not be able to use the technique in time for the birth due to unpredictability.
- It takes practise and time to fully immerse yourself in the technique.
To use the hypnobirthing technique, expectant mothers need to find a practitioner close to them. Classes are then offered over five weeks and last for two and a half hours at a time. Partners are encouraged to attend while attendance is recommended from 14 weeks onwards.
Five things they don't tell you about the first trimester
You’ve just found out that you are pregnant and are excited and anxious at the same time about welcoming a new life into the world. But wait, there are some things that you will only find out through experience and that you may not be able to find in books or online.
Not to worry though because we’ve got you covered about what you can expect during your first trimester of pregnancy.
- You might not gain much weight and your stomach could look slightly bloated. You could actually get away with not looking pregnant for at least four months. This is normal and not a cause for concern as long as you are eating normally, taking your vitamins and staying hydrated while attending all your doctor visit to monitor your baby’s progress.
- Your baby is so tiny that he is the size of an orange seed. At the end of the first trimester he will be the size of a small peach. This small dynamite though will affect you in many ways during the first trimester, changing your sense of smell, causing morning sickness and causing you to pee a lot. All of it is very normal though.
- You will have to avoid all raw meats, this includes polony, ham, sushi, raw eggs and fish as well as brie and camembert cheese.
- About a quarter of pregnant women have slight bleeding during the first trimester – this light spotting may be a sign that the fertilised embryo (egg and sperm) has implanted in the uterus. Consult your doctor if you experience prolonged r heavy bleeding as this could be a sign of a serious condition or a possible harm to your baby.
- There will be a lot of cramping. According to American Pregnancy Association, this normal cramping can be attributedto the stretching of ligaments that hold your uterus, which is expanding.
The first three months of pregnancy are an exciting time as you start getting accustomed to the idea of carrying a child. Enjoy this period, record it and take pictures for memories sake.
Why banking your baby's umbilical cord might save his life
Your baby’s umbilical cord contains millions of stem cells which are cells which can grow into organs, blood vessels and tissue.
These cells have the ability to develop into cells which are needed by the body, depending on the disease or infection. They can help to repair damaged body organs, tissue and aid in boosting the body’s immune system. Stem cells can also help to fight several diseases such as blood disorders, cancers and immune deficiency diseases such as lupus.
The buzzword right now is umbilical cord banking where your child’s umbilical cord is cut and stored at birth. The cells in the umbilical cord can be saved for later use in the case an unfortunate incident arises.
According to Cryo Save, stem cells are often called master cells. They form the foundation of your entire body and act as building blocks for the blood, immune system, tissue and organs. The can replicate or regenerate themselves and have the ability to differentiate into any kind of specialised cell in the body.
The benefits of saving stem cells according to Cryo Save from the umbilical cord include treating the following diseases:
- Can replace diseased bone marrow with healthy bone marrow to treat/cure patients with e.g. blood cancer
- Replace non-functioning bone marrow with healthy functioning bone marrow in patients with e.g. acquired bone marrow failure.
- Regenerate a healthy immune system in patients with e.g. immune deficiencies, autoimmune disease
- Replace bone marrow with genetically healthy functioning bone marrow in patients with inherited blood related diseases.
- Used in treating cerebal palsy and autism
- Beneficial in treating type 1 diabetes
The process to retrieve stem cells is simple and painless for both the mother and the child, it also doesn’t interfere with labour or delivery. The umbilical cord is collected right after birth. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) recommends a delay of 30 to 60 seconds between delivery and cord clamping for healthy, full-term babies.
To retrieve the umbilical cord, a doctor will immediately cut the cord and collect and store it. The cord is then shipped to a umbilical cord blood bank, where it’s tested, processed, and cryopreserved (preserved by controlled freezing) for long-term storage if deemed acceptable according to quality standards.
You have two options in deciding what to do with the stem cells contained in the cord after birth
- You can donate your baby’s cord blood to a public cord blood bankfor anyone who needs it.
- You can pay to store your baby’s cord blood in a private cord blood bankfor your family’s use.
Locally, Cyro Save is a stem cell bank which can store your child’s umbilical cord. More information can be found on www.cyro-save.co.zashould you be interested in investing in this life saving technology.
Watch this video of how umbilical cord and stem cell banking saved a child’s life
10 Essential things to check off before baby arrives
We’ve compiled an ultimate checklist of what you needbefore baby comes home.
Car seat
Your baby will spend quite a bit of time in their car seat so invest in a strong, quality car seat which is durable and will fit him as he grows.
Stroller
Some parents prefer having two strollers one for outings and one for indoors. Choose according to your personal preference and requirements.
Sleeping cot
If you are opting for a crib then ensure it has a mattress, sheets, light blankets and a heavier blanket for cold days. Add toys and accessories according to your personal preferences.
Nursery
The baby’s nursery should be set up and contain everything that baby needs such as clothing, the crib, toiletries and accessories.
Bedding
Blankets and sheets should be ready and picked according to the season.
Bathtime items
A baby bath, shampoo, baby soap, towels and brushes are all items that you should have stocked up on.
Bibs
Have more than five of these ready because baby will need one for each feeding.
Clothing
From onesies, socks, hats, booties, vests to pants, dresses and suits for formal occasions, pack your baby’s cupboard so you know exactly where to find everything you need.
Baby proof
Have you baby proofed your home? Burglar bars, locked cupboards and placing furniture and ornaments out of reach are simple ways you can get ready for the new addition to your family.
Changing mat
Get a waterproof baby changing mat that you can also easily pack it into the car to take with you when travelling on the road.
How to chronicle your baby’s birth story
Creating a birth story for your baby will contribute to the host of special memories, mementoes and collection of pictures that you have planned for your little one.
You don’t even have to be an accomplished author or writer to ace this one. All you have to do is chronicle your excitement and encapsulate all the moments leading up to and including your baby’s birth.
To begin compiling the birth story, keep a diary specifically dedicated to the birth story and make notes of special moments. For example, start with the day your doctor told you when you would be due. Make a note of this and pencil in the date, together with an image of the sonogram.
On the day you decide on the birth plan, make a note of that too and chronicle how that experience made you feel as you made a decision on how you would give birth to your child.
If you have opted for a home birth, add that to the diary and detail why and how you plan to have the home birth. Additional details about how your partner is helping you to prepare and what you will have ready at the birth will also develop the birth story quite nicely.
Write about what outfit you chose to wear during the birth experience and what music you listened to as well as what mood you aimed to create in the room as your baby was born will add a nice touch to the birth story.
Welcoming your baby to the world is a precious moment and so details about what time you heard her first cry, who held her first, what she wore on her first day and when she started feeding will also give those privy reading your child’s birth story a strong sense of the day your child arrived in the world.
Ways to chronicle your birth story
- Compile the birth story in a journal containing all the hand written notes and images of the moments leading up to and including the birth
- Keep a video diary
- Record all the special moments in a voice journal which you can share with close family and friends or just keep in your family.
This is how you can raise a cultured baby
Shamiso Chaibva (35) mother of 3-month old Ruvenego from Kensigton, Johannesburg sharesher personal experience of how she and her husband are raising a cultured baby. She writes;
Our daughter is still very young but her dad and I have committed ourselves to raising her in a way that will bring progress and development in her life in all aspects. We want our daughter to have a good background, one that is rooted in sound emotional, social, spiritual and physical development. We have started off by doing baby courses some of which are; baby massage course which helps to alleviate colic and helps her sleep. We have also introduced her to baby gym, power of play, hydrotherapy to help with emotional intelligence, self-awareness as well as physical development.
These allow children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity and physical, cognitive and emotional strength which are important to healthy brain development. They help babies at a very early age engage and interact with the world around them. Which is what we want, we want to raise a child who is emotionally intelligent, who can socialise with different people without feeling like a misfit in any way.
“We want her to know who she is and be confident in who she is without being arrogant. We want her to respect herself and those around her, so we believe the stuff we have done so far is of great help. The courses teach you how to engage daily with your baby from talking to her to playing and practising this at home until it becomes second nature.
“We plan to do many other courses for each stage that will equip us as parents to raise our little one in the best way possible.
“It’s amazing how how eye opening some of these courses are, a simple example is not crawling correctly or long enough (sometimes babies are rushed to walk) this can affect your child in school because they do not have a strong upper body, therefore they slouch after a shortwhile after sitting in a desk. This can reduce their concentration levels especially in Mathematics.
“Ideally we want our child to sit upright and be attentive as required without slouching which can be interpreted as a sign of being disrespectful. We also would like her to be a well grounded Christian, and so we come with her to church, where she will learn what it means to be a Christian. We will also pray with her and teach her from home.”
Mommy tip: Visit the Bub Hub (www.thebubhub.co.za) to explore baby classes, massage and baby yoga courses.
This is how you can raise a cultured baby
Shamiso Chaibva (35) mother of 3-month old Ruvenego from Kensigton, Johannesburg sharesher personal experience of how she and her husband are raising a cultured baby. She writes;
Our daughter is still very young but her dad and I have committed ourselves to raising her in a way that will bring progress and development in her life in all aspects. We want our daughter to have a good background, one that is rooted in sound emotional, social, spiritual and physical development. We have started off by doing baby courses some of which are; baby massage course which helps to alleviate colic and helps her sleep. We have also introduced her to baby gym, power of play, hydrotherapy to help with emotional intelligence, self-awareness as well as physical development.
These allow children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity and physical, cognitive and emotional strength which are important to healthy brain development. They help babies at a very early age engage and interact with the world around them. Which is what we want, we want to raise a child who is emotionally intelligent, who can socialise with different people without feeling like a misfit in any way.
“We want her to know who she is and be confident in who she is without being arrogant. We want her to respect herself and those around her, so we believe the stuff we have done so far is of great help. The courses teach you how to engage daily with your baby from talking to her to playing and practising this at home until it becomes second nature.
“We plan to do many other courses for each stage that will equip us as parents to raise our little one in the best way possible.
“It’s amazing how how eye opening some of these courses are, a simple example is not crawling correctly or long enough (sometimes babies are rushed to walk) this can affect your child in school because they do not have a strong upper body, therefore they slouch after a shortwhile after sitting in a desk. This can reduce their concentration levels especially in Mathematics.
“Ideally we want our child to sit upright and be attentive as required without slouching which can be interpreted as a sign of being disrespectful. We also would like her to be a well grounded Christian, and so we come with her to church, where she will learn what it means to be a Christian. We will also pray with her and teach her from home.”
Mommy tip: Visit the Bub Hub (www.thebubhub.co.za) to explore baby classes, massage and baby yoga courses.
5 Things you should never say to a pregnant mom
Carrying a bundle of joy for nine months is one of the most amazing and exciting journeys that moms-to-be cherish but sometimes comments from people can scare or irritate an expectant mother.
Luckily with this guide on what not to say to a pregnant woman, you won’t have to worry about offending anyone with a baby bump.
- “Your nose is so big! You must be having a boy.”
The last thing a pregnant woman wants to hear is how her facial features and body have changed due to pregnancy. It’s natural and logical that her body will change because she is carrying a human being after all, so hearing remarks about body weight fluctuations and larger body features will only make the mom-to-be feel self-conscious about herself. Rather compliment her on how well she is carrying the pregnancy or share tips about how you dealt with the all the body changes.
- “Have you picked a name yet?”
This is really none of anyone’s business. Moms and dads have their own personal pressures of finding a name and having to deal with the opinions of others on their choices will only add unnecessary strain. Some couples also prefer keeping their baby’s name private until they are born while some disclose to family or close friends only. Instead try commenting on how you look forward to hearing the name they have picked out.
- “I watched a terrible birth experience on TV…”
We’ve all seen and heard of unfortunate labour incidents. The best thing to do is to keep those horror stories to yourself. Moms-to-be do not need to hear about how scary labour is, they have probably done their own research and have their own expectations of the experience. It would be more encouraging to chat about interesting birth plans or the latest trends such as the presence of a doula at the birth.
- “Was this planned?”
What is important is that the expectant mother and her partner are having a baby. Whether the child was planned or not is imperative and may come across as judgemental. Express joy and celebrate the new arrival by being supportive and encouraging instead of critical and sceptical.
- “Are you having an epidural?”
Labour medication choices are personal to each mom-to-be and her decisions should be respected. Opinions are beneficial but attempts to force them on her may not be welcome. Though epidurals are popular, not every mother will want one. Here, encouragement would be key because by showing your support, you will allay any fears she might have and help her look forward to the day her bundle of joy arrives.
What are the most inappropriate comments you have heard?
Essential and unique items to include in your baby’s nursery
You’ve picked out the colours for your nursery and settled on décor that will express your style and make your baby’s room a little haven of bliss. The tricky part is now selecting items that are necessary for your bundle of joy without compromising on quality, style and originality.
We’ve made this process a little simpler for you by rounding up a list of essential items that can be customised to capture that essence of uniqueness. We’ve also added a separate list which you can use as a guide to ensure that you have everything you need for the nursery.
Drawer: Cupboard space is never quite enough when you have a littleone. Clothing, blankets, shoes and accessories will fill up cupboards so it’s always a good idea to have a drawer that you can use to support everything you have.
How to make it unique: Buy a chest of drawers that is plain. Thrift stores are great places to purchase wooden drawers. Paint the drawers in your colour of choice or spray paint it to give it an authentic and stylish look.
Crib:The crib is where your baby will spend most of his time in the first year. Make it super comfortable by investing in a quality mattress, cover and bedding.
How to make it unique:Make it cool by adding special quotes around it. If you have a family totem, you can even get a crib especially crafted in the shape of the family totem or with it carved in front.
Wall art: Nothing makes a baby’s room look sweeter or more complete than accessories and wall art.
How to make it unique:Use foam letters to spell out your baby’s name on the wall or pick wall art according to a fairytale theme or a cartoon character.
Play pen:A traditional play pen would have some toys for your child to indulge in. These days it doesn’t have to be so simple, you can dedicate a whole room to a play pen or use one section of the room for this.
How to make it unique: Instead of having a simple play pen opt for ahome basedcastle that can be assembled from scratch in your home. Your baby will have her very own palace that she can explore.
Baby swing: Newer swings not only move in a front-to-back motion, but also a side-to-side motion to mimic the motion of Mama’s tummy. There are several portable models for on-the-go parents, too.
How to make it unique: Sew in patches with messages for your little one from family members. This will make the swing not only a soothing place to fall asleep in for baby but a meaningful place of rest as well.
Checklist: Must have items for your nursery
Room thermometer: Babies have a tough time regulating their own body temperatures. This comes in handy to check why your baby may be struggling to sleep or is fussy.
Bookshelf: Create a mini-library for your baby that can even be used for the rest of your children.The shelf can also be used to stack other items such as diapers or to keep the intercom.
Mattress and waterproof mattress cover: Take your pick, there are foam, waterproof, organic and hypoallergenic mattresses that are available according to your personal preferences.
Crib Sheet
Nursing Chair and Pillow:A nursing chair can be any chair that allows you to sit down and feed your baby comfortably. Ideally, this chair allows you to lean, rock, swivel, and put your feet up. 7. Diapers, Wipes, and Clothes
Diapers, wipes, toiletries, onesies, socks, and mittens:You can never have enough of these so stock up as soon as you can.
Fun ways to reveal your baby’s gender
Whether you are looking for gender reveal party ideas or searching for a way to break the news to your partner or family, we’ve rounded up ideas that will make that moment extra special.
The great thing about each of these ideas is that you can customise them to suit you and your personal preferences. Depending on if you are having a boy or a girl, you could also choose a colour scheme that will convey your baby’s gender or you could go neutral and let the final moment where you reveal your baby’s sex give everything away.
Throw a baby bash
Yes the baby is still baking and on the way but you can begin to celebrate them by hosting a party where their gender will be revealed. This is not similar to a baby shower because guests are not expected to bring gifts, instead everyone can participate in guessing the baby’s gender and having a great time while at it. Get on Pinterest, set the theme, have guests cast votes, play games, create a treasure hunt, set up teams and choose the perfect reveal moment.
Let the kids do the talking
The whole family can participate in the big revealing by dressing up in cartoon characters or colours which favour a particular sex. A photoshoot with the images posted on social media or on a private family group can then inform your loved ones on what to expect.
Paint it up
Express your inner artist by creating a mini masterpiece of your baby’s gender on paint. Go to your local hardware store with a sealed envelope and ask them to give you blue or pink paint in an unlabelled can. Open the can of paint to reveal your baby’s gender with your family and ask everyone to write a sweet message on canvas. You can keep this memento in the nursery or store it to show your child one day.
Let them know you’ve won the genetic jackpot
Share your thrilling news with adorable gender reveal scratch cards. Send out a batch to close friends and relatives or distribute them during an intimate dinner.
Other ways to reveal your baby’s gender:
- We love how Tia Mowry revealed her baby’s gender on video. She baked a yummy cake, decorated it and filled it with edible accessories on the inside which spilt out when she cut the cake. You can watch this incredible reveal below.
- A simple way of letting everyone in on what you are expecting is by gathering balloons and placing them in a box to be opened by your partner. You can add a twist to this by asking a close friend or family member to find out the gender first then bring the box to you and your partner to open.
- Take a photo of baby shoes according to what you are having. Surprise everyone with the framed photo which can also stand in your baby’s nursery or in your home as a reminder of that beautiful moment.
How to chronicle your baby’s birth story
Creating a birth story for your baby will contribute to the host of special memories, mementoes and collection of pictures that you have planned for your little one.
You don’t even have to be an accomplished author or writer to ace this one. All you have to do is chronicle your excitement and encapsulate all the moments leading up to and including your baby’s birth.
To begin compiling the birth story, keep a diary specifically dedicated to the birth story and make notes of special moments. For example, start with the day your doctor told you when you would be due. Make a note of this and pencil in the date, together with an image of the sonogram.
On the day you decide on the birth plan, make a note of that too and chronicle how that experience made you feel as you made a decision on how you would give birth to your child.
If you have opted for a home birth, add that to the diary and detail why and how you plan to have the home birth. Additional details about how your partner is helping you to prepare and what you will have ready at the birth will also develop the birth story quite nicely.
Write about what outfit you chose to wear during the birth experience and what music you listened to as well as what mood you aimed to create in the room as your baby was born will add a nice touch to the birth story.
Welcoming your baby to the world is a precious moment and so details about what time you heard her first cry, who held her first, what she wore on her first day and when she started feeding will also give those privy reading your child’s birth story a strong sense of the day your child arrived in the world.
Ways to chronicle your birth story
- Compile the birth story in a journal containing all the hand written notes and images of the moments leading up to and including the birth
- Keep a video diary
- Record all the special moments in a voice journal which you can share with close family and friends or just keep in your family.
Stylish items that you will want to rock for maternity wear
Gone are the days when maternity wear consisted of oversized dresses, t-shirts and blouses that plainly covered an expectant mother’s changing figure.
Modern fashion has evolved and seen elegant and fun trends adapted for maternity styling, allowing pregnant women to also enjoy the top trends of the season.
Thami Kwazi Citi Life lifestyle editor has worked closely with celebrities in magazine styling and finding clothing that is appropriate for their body shapes even while they were expecting. She advises that moms should put comfort and feeling good about themselves first when shopping for maternity wear.
“Most women struggle with looking and still feeling sexy during the pregnancy because they worry about the public’s opinion and obviously their husband’s opinion. They still want to look sexy as a wife or a girlfriend. They want to feel comfortable in their own skin with functional maternity clothing because it is created to accommodate stretching skin and general discomfort that a pregnant woman experiences.
“Jessica Alba’s maternity style was one of the best I’ve seen. She was smart to wear trainers, she knows that high heels at that time are uncomfortable or maybe her feet are swollen and she always wants to keep herself balanced. Locally, Thembi Seete being a mature pregnant woman, which is what is happening these days thought more about feeling good in her own skin rather than what the public is going to say.
Thami says that moms-to-be should put their own health and that of their baby first.
“Women are living in a dual society where you have to please your man and yourself. No woman is going to be fine with looking frumpy and wearing oversized clothing, a woman still wants to try and look cute. Women who are getting it right are those that understand how to balance being comfortable with looking appealing and appropriate.”
Kholo Mamabolo, a Cape Town based supply chain logistics adviser who recently gave birth to her first child says most of the weight was carried in her belly. She wore jeggings, jumpsuits and maternity jeans with elastic bands around the waist, the most comfortable to wear.
“I bought a few maternity shirts which I wore to work and maternity jeans which are a must have for those shopping and chilling out days and also to accommodate the changing figure.
“Because pregnancy naturally brings about glowing skin, keep your style simple and comfortable to compliment your glow. I also found that the days I looked good I felt good, my confidence and productivity increased.”
We’ve rounded up a pick of the most stylish maternity items celebrities wore when they were pregnant so that you could also incorporate these into your closet
Actress Thembi Seete
For formal events, tutus and empire line dresses are great to tastefully emphasise your assets. We love how Thembi wore this flowing red dress to her unveiling as the face of a cosmetics brand.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bfx4yrCB3Pd/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=g4qr3v9xecjd
In the first and second trimester, you can get away with tailored suits which have detailing around the waist to cover your baby bump.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Be0WnRKheSi/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=xj3jjxylshhg
Actress Khabonina Qubeka
Maxi dresses are not only comfy but super stylish and fun to wear. Actress Khabonina paired hers with kitten heels.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BmMVcnmFpro/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=lwjvdm5q1r78
For work, stretchy skirts like the one Khabonina is wearing coupled with a shirt oozes class and sass.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bk0LxuThtX0/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1rrh9xigfbkiv
TV presenter Luthando Sosha
Pyjama style paint suits in satin or cottonare a fun way to switch up your look, TV presenter Luthando Sosha wore hers with sneakers, making for a laid back look.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BlC21tdlgJD/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=e9dktpc1frxk
For a more relaxed vibe, wear trainers with a tracksuit and a body suit. We love how comfy Luthando looks!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BolzcTClmAV/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1kef3qmeauyvk
Three Insta moms to follow for inspiration
Social media is a portal of creativity, information and great pictures that inspire and influence us to live our best lives.
Double tapping has become synonymous with putting our very own stamp of approval on what we like on Instagram and our pick of cool Insta moms will have you doing just that, because their Instagram pages are not only pretty to look at but offer practical mommy advice.
Thando Msomi, a Johannesburg based talent management specialist, wife and mother to a two-year-old girl and a nine-year-old boy has her own blog and is known as The Modern Zulu Mom on Instagram.
She offers financial advice on how to prepare for motherhood, regularly posts tips on raising a toddler and a tween, food recipes and shares her favourite kiddies hangouts.
Special factor: Thando shares cool hangouts and venues, great for birthday party ideas or when you want to find a place to entertain the kids over the weekend.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bon4mROlmwS/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=xl6n2x9zl75m
https://www.instagram.com/p/BkuBtcAl3P4/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1gss4d1i4ms5m
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjHAa-xFoaE/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=14nqhopo0zuyt
Nkateko ‘Takkies’ Dinwiddy is mom to 9 month old Sana. Passionate about fitness and striking a work life balance, Takkies has made motherhood look like one big ball of fun times, a bit of drool and sexiness.
A fitness guru who runs her own weekly dance class in Sandton, Takkies is also a social media influencer who chronicles her motherhood journey.
Her page has loads of tips on how to keep your body in shape, you’ll find videos of her working out at home while her daughter watches and she’ll challenge you to get some abs and refine your squat regime while sharing how she balances motherhood and a burgeoning career.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BovkLIJhh7y/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1k39ppaw4dzvp
https://www.instagram.com/p/BlZxji-Fb3m/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=50w806rql232
https://www.instagram.com/p/BkPqP0SjtAz/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1eyb2r59qbze2
Special factor: Follow Takkies if you want to see how you can get your pre-baby body back, realistically and healthily.
For Olwethu Leshabane, juggling entrepreneurship, blogging and being an advocate for female sanitation while being a mom to three active boys is demanding of her time and energy but she manages to do it all with charm and chutzpah.
On Olwethu’s page, you’ll find a one stop shop on how to stay fabulous and how to exercise self-love while being a wife, mother and having an involved career.
Olwethu gives her followers advice on where to go to book the best mani and pedi, how to look your best and she shows you how to rock your post baby figure stylishly.
Special factor: We love how Olwethu’s style game is on another level. She showcases her interpretation of fashion in an effortlessly chic way.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BmgUg3ug8iM/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1fzhu6vh61cdl
https://www.instagram.com/p/BmwD1wCADmJ/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1g4jnz8f4ungh
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bonvdz8H304/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1xvt557gslzeo
What not to say to a friend trying to get pregnant
Trying for a baby can be a frustrating time for some couples and a sensitive period in their lives as they try to start a family.
Being cognisant of their journey to parenthood is essential, as uttering any insensitive comments can be hurtful and disparaging to a couple. We’ve come up with a list of what not to say, just in case you weren’t sure of what is deemed inappropriate.
- If you’re meant to have a baby, it will happen.
Not only is this insensitive but it can come across as rude and inconsiderate of the couples’ efforts and plans regarding their family. Better to say nothing than be negative. - Are you sure you’re not pregnant already?
When a couple falls pregnant is none of anyone’s business. Such comments are a complete no-go and show disregard for the feelings of others. - When was your last period?
Unless you are the gynaecologist then this question is definitely off limits. - Maybe you’re tracking your ovulation
Trying for a baby is a private matter and the finer details such as ovulation are also not up for discussion or public debate. - Don’t go to a doctor, try this tea instead!
While your tea recommendations may be well meaning, the last thing a couple needs to hear is what they should be drinking to have a baby. - God doesn’t make mistakes. He’ll get you your baby when He is ready.
Respect the religious positions or preferences of others and avoid making such statements as they may come across as self-righteous. - What sexual positionshave you tried?
Like politics and religion, sex should be left off the table when discussing growing a family. It is a private issue and shouldn’t be regarded as a matter for public consumption. - Can you really afford a kid?
Though this is a common question to ask, it isn’t a very comfortable or nice one. Every family knows their budget and of they are trying for a child, their financial situation surely allows them to do so. - You should just adopt instead.
Adoption is a last resort for many couples and this decision is probably one they may have thought of themselves. - Just relax.
Just don’t even consider saying this. Starting a family is serious business and for some couples, putting in the effort to do so may be their reality.
Why these moms kept their pregnancy a secret until the second semester
The journey to parenthood is a precious time filled with surprise, wonder and remarkable moments of discovering the pregnancy, feeling your baby kick and experiencing your first ultrasound.
For some, sharing the discovery that they are expecting a bundle of joy is not a priority until the second trimester. Medically, moms-to-be are advised to wait before telling friends and relatives until the first trimester or three months has passed as the risk of miscarriage tends to be high during that period.
Neo Enzel Mcinga (29) from Pretoria East and Thabang Mabusela (33) of Irene are two moms who opted to wait until their pregnancies had progressed to the second trimester before sharing the news.
Neo is a mom to three children all aged between 1 and 10 years. She shares her experience below.
“My opinion is that it all depends on you as a person on how open you are to people. The first trimester is the most terrifying time as anything can happen that might cause a person to miscarry.
“Stress, medical reasons, falling accidentally and the list goes on things that could cause a miscarriage. To get to the point, that would be one of the reasons why I did not share the news of a pregnancy in the first trimester.
“Another reason is being ready for the attention because people change how they treat you once are carrying a baby – “they fuss” and 9 months is a long time to listen to people give lots of advice and opinions on how many kids you should have.
“Lastly I had to be emotionally ready as sometimes God plants his precious seed before you thought you were ready so dealing with it is different from person to person and for me sharing the news was not a priority as I had to focus on being emotionally ready.”
Thabang has two children, a toddler and a teenager. She shares her pregnancy experience with us.
“When I found out I was pregnant, it was not expected or planned for so I had to process all the emotions that arose. My partner and I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, from joy to panic all at once. On some days, during the first trimester we would stare in wonder at my growing belly and become emotional as we thought of the journey ahead of us.
“The first person I told was my mother and sisters. They were all very excited but I swore them to secrecy and they agreed to wait until I was in my second trimester and ready to share. Part of the decision to wait until the three month mark had passed was because I feared losing my baby. I wouldn’t want to experience a loss with people asking questions and prying. Pregnancy for me is a very private experience and sometimes you just want to keep it to yourself and enjoy those sacred moments without having to report back to anyone.
“My partner comes from a very traditional family. We were advised by his parents that according to their culture, we have to wait until the second trimester because sharing the pregnancy before then was not acceptable. It was also a matter of introducing the pregnancy to our ancestors first and asking for their blessing before we could start telling people.”
“Personally I appreciated having three months to myself and dealing with my changing body, the morning sickness and weird cravings without explaining myself to anyone. I also just wanted to be treated normally and not have people check up on me all the time.”
Infancy 0-2
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Video Blog
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