Emotional talk with men from Mohlakeng
'Men need to be close to God and reclaim their roles and responsibilities as fathers'
Men can also cry when it matters.
This was evident after almost 100 men from all walks of life came together at the Mohlakeng St John’s Devine Orphan Outreach Centre recently to attend the Giants Foundation Men’s Seminar – said to be the first of it’s kind organised in Mohlakeng.
“In African culture, when society is confronted with challenges, it calls upon the men to come together, sit and discuss a way to deal with the tough situations,” said Mandla Hamnca, event organiser of Proud Fathers – a group supporting responsible fatherhood.
Topics discussed were societal challenges, child and women abuse – either as perpetrators or victims – inner psychological struggles, abuse of drugs and alcohol and resorting to suicide.
“It has been a long-held perception that men can not cry even if they are victims of abuse by their spouses,” said Mesh Kekana, one of the speakers.
“Men need to be close to God and reclaim their roles and responsibilities as fathers. You cannot be a father by accident, it’s a consequence,” he said.
Guest speaker Tumi Mathetsa said in his address that one can not raise a child without a stable home. Another guest speaker indicated that finances also present men with unbearable challenges in marriage.
“All of us have big dreams; however, we have to start small. As men we need to be wise with our finances, you have to save for rainy days and be strong in times of retrenchment,” said Ashley Mlonyeni, an adviser for Old Mutual.
Social worker Sidney Mabaso added that it was difficult to get men to gather in this manner and congratulated Mandla for pulling it off.
“We are living in difficult times,” he said. “Our status and identity have never been questioned as much as now and we have more men in prison than women.”
It is said a lack of identity is also what causes men to take bad decisions based on choices made by their forefathers. Kofi Ofori Boateng, another guest speaker, blames the problem on Western values that have been adopted by African men. “Our kids watch everything that we do,” he said, “and we have been deceived about our heritage.”
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