Seven tips to survive a drive through South Africa

DRIVING in South Africa is a unique experience and while we might not have the same level of congestion as Beijing, the free-for-all seen in India, or the right of way pedestrians seem to enjoy in the Philippines, we do have a few things that make us unique. We’ve compiled a list of uniquely South African road encounters and how best to deal with them.

1. Avoid the blue light brigade– Now we’re all for state officials getting to important meetings on time but the level of recklessness and disregard for fellow road users that these blue light brigade drivers show is crazy. The best way to describe these bull dozers is to look for a high-end SUV with blue lights flashing behind you. Get out of their way before you get bullied off the road or even nudged out of the way in certain instances.
2. Tip car guards– These luminous jacket-clad lurkers look after your vehicle while you’re at the shops, an event or pretty much anywhere you might happen to park your vehicle. In exchange for their service they accept tips and as much as it is not a prerequisite to pay them, we’d suggest a tip.
3. Tip window washers– Watch out for these buddy cool-drinks-with-a-suspicious-brown-liquid-in-it-yielding operators. They sit and wait at traffic lights and before you know it the mysterious liquid is on your window and being wiped off. They then insist on you giving them a tip for this service. We’ve seen these scenarios turn nasty so perhaps a small tip could save you trouble or make it very clear when you arrive at the traffic light that your window doesn’t need cleaning.
4. Beware of street merchants– Have you even been driving and felt the need to buy dish cloths, holographic pictures of wild animals, pirated DVDs, sunglasses and even cell phone chargers? Then you’re in luck! These vendors sell just about everything and they’re conveniently located at traffic lights and stop streets. Sounds great, but most of the merchandise is fake and therefore going to be a waste of money.
5. Relax around the taxis– Now taxi drivers are renowned around the world for poor driving. We went for a cab ride in the Middle East and were petrified most of the journey because of the speed that the driver was travelling at. We do believe though, local taxis take the proverbial cake; never is there an empty emergency lane, an open space between two cars or a hooter unused at the slightest hint of traffic. The general public has a love/hate relationship with taxis; many of us use them daily but many find the drivers’ road manners severely lacking. For the sake of your blood pressure we suggest avoiding and ignoring.
6. We have petrol attendants– In many overseas countries you’re expected to fill up your own tank with fuel but we’re quite unique locally with each service station providing a group of petrol-pump attendants. A tip here is not required but very much appreciated.
7. Avoid strange flyers– Almost everywhere you stop in South Africa there will be a printed flyer stuck to a wall, electrical box or traffic light advertising the services of a magical doctor. Apart from things that cannot be mentioned the doctor can help you bring back a lost loved one, win the lottery and predict the future. It’s quite amazing that these doctors have to make ends meet with money from patrons when they can predict the future or help you win the lottery. We don’t suggest saving the phone number in to your phone.