‘After every beating, he promised to kill me. He also threatened to scar my face for life so that no man would look at me again.’
The 22-year-old woman in Promosa whose identity cannot be revealed said these words in anguish during an interview with the Herald. Her 30-year-old ex-boyfriend had recently stabbed her more than twenty times with a sharp object. This extreme violence occurred after he had accused her of leaving him for a male congregant and friend.
‘I left him because of his abusive streak, his violent behaviour and bad attitude but he did not want to accept that it was over. After I left, he called me and said he was going to hunt me down in Potch and kill me,’ said the victim.
The attractive woman says the man came to Potchefstroom from Johannesburg last Friday and asked her to accompany him to a garage. He then took her to his shack and spent the whole night interrogating her and accusing her of cheating.
‘The following day, he went through my phone and accused me of dating a fellow congregant. Thereafter, the beatings started…he punched me and bit me on my breast and promised to kill me. I tried to run to the neighbours, but he caught up with me and convinced them that we would sort out our differences.’
Nothing had changed, however, and he boiled the kettle, intending to throw the water in her face. Once again, she managed to escape but, later that afternoon, her luck ran out. ‘He started stabbing me all over my body with a sharp object that looked like a tiling trowel. He fled when the landlord intervened and left me lying there, bleeding. They called him back and told him to take me to the clinic. I must have blacked out because I found myself in the hospital; the nurses said I had lost a lot of blood. I have about 20 stab wounds on my body,’ she said.
The victim says this was not the first time he had assaulted her. ‘It happened throughout the two years of our relationship. ‘He stabbed me with a screwdriver and beat me up for the slightest reason – for missing his phone calls, for visiting my family without his consent, even for going to a shop when he expected me to be at his shack. I wasn’t allowed to have friends but he was free to do anything he wanted,’ she said.
Like so many other battered women, she stayed in the relationship because she thought he loved her, even though her family begged her to leave him.
The woman still lives in pain and fear. She wants the police to lock him up forever or deport him to Mozambique. According to her, he has a history of women abuse and she believes he should have been charged with attempted murder and not assault.
She urged women living in abusive relationships to stop settling for so little. ‘When he starts slapping you, you must know that he is not going to stop. He does not mean his apologies – he’s only trying to free himself from the guilt. It is a cycle until he kills you. You must leave those toxic relationships,’ she said, almost begging.
After the interview, the woman had to drink her medication. ‘My grandmother has to bath me – I cannot cook, do small chores or even walk very far,’ she said. Like the majority of women beaters, the suspect was a sweet, humble person when they first met. ‘I loved him so much. Before I met him, I was so lonely and I thought God had finally answered my prayers.’
Sgt. Kelebogile Trom, police spokesperson confirmed the incident and said the 30-year-old man has been arrested for assault GBH (grievous bodily harm).
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