And suddenly, there I was, training my staff on donning and doffing. Something that was only supposed to be done in theatre. I remember I told them that we must be prepared, there will come a day that our ICU will be filled with sick COVID-19 patients. I remember eyes staring at me, filled with anxiety and fear. I reassured them, that we would be okay. We looked strange, theatre caps, scrubs and masks. We were scared but ready for this COVID war. Real soldiers ready for our duty. Never could we imagine what was to come. ICU was filled with the sickest patients we could imagine. We fight tirelessly to save lives. I could see the eyes that were filled with fear became eyes filled with tears and sadness for every life we lost. The unthinkable also happened, staff became sick. The worst day of my COVID experience was the day that most of my staff was booked of with COVID. There was not enough staff to look after the patients. I decided to work a 24-hour shift to ease the workload of my night shift colleagues. The next moment my other colleague was next to my side, also ready to do a 24-hour shift. Staff from theatre also volunteered to help that night. Within this seemingly hopeless situation, hope appeared in the form of colleagues. We prayed, we hoped and believed that each one of us would survive. The most joyful day during this pandemic was when our matron came back from her COVID sick leave. She was our mentor, our mother. I could breathe again. She was healed. We sang and praised God every time someone came back, and we rejoiced because not one staff member lost a life. We started celebrating each patient’s victory over COVID. Singing and rejoicing could be heard in the corridor for each patient reunited with his/her loved ones. Certificates and medals were given. Eyes were filled with hope and joy.  We also mourn the loss of each patient. We had a candle ceremony where each one of us burnt a candle to honour those who lost the battle against COVID-19.

We looked at each other and realised this battle is far from over. We must stay positive, for families and patients who rely on us. A year into the pandemic and I stand in awe of my team, they have matured, they are skilled but the thing that bring tears to my eyes is when they pray for their patients. Encouraging them to fight. We have become the patient’s family, give them spiritual guidance, and provide feedback to their loved ones. We hold their hands if they die because no one must die alone. Our phones tell stories of hope. We play voice notes, prayers, and show videos of their grandchildren. Celebrate birthdays and anniversaries. Weekends and off days are there to spend time with our own loved ones. But you keep checking your phone to see if there is maybe a message of hope or news that your patient did not make it. Your heart is with your colleagues and patients 24 hours a day. What gives us hope and energy to continue in this nightmare we are encountering? Our management team send motivational messages, food parcels and packages to spoil us. We receive countless messages of hope, small tokens of appreciation like a cappuccino and churches worshipping and praying with and for us from the great community that we serve. I cannot think that something more devastating can happen to humankind than this devastating COVID-pandemic, but I am a richer person. I appreciate life more, my colleagues, patients and their families are now my family and part of my life.  I respect and salute my colleagues and I am so proud and privileged to be a nurse. God called me before the foundation of the earth to serve HIS people in a time where everyone wants to hide. We choose each day to serve on the frontline and appreciate that people trust us with their loved ones.