Editor –
No matter the type of person, there are lessons to be learned from them. People with disabilities are especially influential, as our hardships in life aren’t easily forgotten. We go through every day with determination and strength, which many people are bowled over by, with many secretly wondering if they could do the same thing.
People with disabilities learn so much throughout their lives; life lessons that able-bodied people rarely get to experience.
Having a disability is definitely difficult, but it’s also one of the richest classrooms a human can experience too. While these learning experiences are more profound experienced directly, there are some special tokens of wisdom we can pass along.
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Most say they would rather die than live with a disability, which makes me laugh. That’s because most able-bodied people can’t imagine being happy if their body was ever permanently broken. But the truth is that the human brain is very adept at transitioning – if you let it, that is.
I thought I would never be happy again. But a few years after becoming paralysed, I was happy. I found happiness through simply being alive, and through family and friends. I still wish I could walk again, but true happiness resides in me.
You’re told as a little kid how important patience is and as an adult, you come to see how true this really is. But when you have a disability, the patience required is at a whole new level. Very often, we have to wait longer for all types of things and over time, we become masters at honing in on it.
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On certain occasions, patience has even helped me emotionally get over my physical inabilities.
When you hear about people becoming disabled through an accident, you always think it could never happen to you, and you almost look at it like a TV show or movie – something that could never be your reality. But the cold, hard truth is that accidents that cause disabilities happen every day and they could likely happen to you or someone you know.
The realness of this possibility is tangible in all lives, but when you have a disability, you’re just a bit more aware of it.
Maybe no congenital disabilities run in your family, but say your first baby had cerebral palsy. It’s shocking suddenly finding yourself in the camp of either being disabled or the family member of one. The wisdom here is to never forget we are all imperfect physical beings and to never think you’re exempt. We will all die one day and we’re all human.
Since having a disability can be rather stressful – broken wheelchairs, health insurance cuts, caregivers suddenly quitting – we learn early on to not let our stress levels get too high. If we did, none of us would make it past 40. We are confronted with crazy things all the time, so we learn to prioritise what is really worth freaking out about. That is why so many of us seem so Zen-like. The movie is sold out? The restaurant has a two-hour wait? No biggie. It could always be worse.
Most people don’t like being different or standing out. When you have a disability, you pretty much have a free-for-all card to be exactly who you want to be, since fitting in with the “in” crowd is impossible anyways and embracing this can be one of the most freeing feelings ever. You don’t need to fit in to feel good about yourself or to think you ‘belong’. You belong to yourself; we know this. And that feeling is truly amazing.
You hear it all the time: Don’t judge a book by its cover. From Stephen Hawking, a man in a wheelchair who can’t speak and is one of the smartest people in the world, to Francesco Clark, a quadriplegic and CEO of a huge beauty product company – don’t ever think a disability is equitable to someone who is not impressive or successful. You never know what someone with a disability is capable of.
Having a disability can also, unfortunately, have an impact on your lifespan.
For many of us, living to 95 isn’t probably going to happen, which is why most people with disabilities have figured out the secret to life – enjoy each day as if it were your last. We all try to do this in our own way, but many of us fail.
People with disabilities however, have gotten it down to an art form, from enjoying the sun rays to a warm cup of coffee, we know how hard life can be, so we know how to embrace the good things when they present themselves.
Just like the notion “it takes a village”, being weak or disabled isn’t necessarily a negative thing. When living with a disability, you learn to be okay with receiving help… and over time, many of us realise that we all need help in our own way.
There’s no getting around it – having a disability is certainly a difficult ticket in life, but without question the life lessons to be had make it a near VIP experience. And hey, the free parking is a nice perk too.
Dharam Sewraj
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