On Sunday Fathers Day was celebrated which is a great gesture to honour all the fathers out there who are responsible for raising their offspring and taking care of their families.
However, for me, this day has always reminded me of my sperm donor (my father) who was only good at donating his sperm and fled the scene at 320mph.
He has never set foot since to see me and that was 28 years ago.
As much as there are a handful of fathers who never abandon their children, who stick by them through thick and thin, they go unnoticed because of the thousands of sperm donors out there.
I have always wondered how they sleep at night, but apparently, they have peaceful nights.
On Fathers Day, I sent heartfelt thanks to my grandmother who took upon herself the role of being a father to me. She saw me through school, fed me and never complained.
She is the reason why I am the woman that I am today. Grandmothers and grandparents, in general, are the backbone of many families – especially in the black community – even though they go unrecognised because we assume “it’s their responsibilities”.
They spend their pension money feeding grandchildren who were left by their fathers, they take them through school with the little they have. So to all the grandparents Happy Father’s Day to you.
Here is my take on men who father children but never lift a finger in raising them. Okay, so you impregnate a woman whom you knew very well but you had no intention of loving or helping her raise that child.
The minute you hear that she’s pregnant you move on like you were not present during procreation. The mother then goes through pregnancy alone, with little or no help from her family, because in some cultures back in the days, having a fatherless child was seen not as a curse per se, but the elders saw the mother as a woman who couldn’t keep a man.
Fast forward to 2018, having a fatherless child is now the norm because you are considered lucky if your baby daddy sticks around after you have given birth. Of which should not be the case, even if you break up with him.
The father of your child should still be involved in your child’s life financially, emotionally and of course physically. It is every mans responsibility to be the father figure in their child’s life, to teach them valuable lessons, to love them unconditionally and to also help them as they make life’s decisions along the way
If every father did this then this revulsion of blessers and sugar daddies would merely exist, but because of absent fathers, women end up dating older men just to fill that void and that longing of a male role model.
They grow up without a father to teach them how a man should treat a woman. The hashtag ‘men are trash’ would also not exist because fathers would also teach their sons that women are vulnerable and delicate. Women killings would not be as high as they are right now because fathers would educate their sons to the teachings of the Bible and so forth.
In conclusion don’t be a sperm donor in your child’s life. Be a father, a daddy, a best friend, a knight in shining armor in their life.
Be a man any child would be proud to call daddy, baba, tata, and pa. Don’t depend on SASSA to feed your child because if you knew how much Pampers were you would know that R400 does not raise a child.
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