Lockdown leaves Aunty Sally and Uncle Bobby frustrated

“When will lockdown be lifted?” This is a question on many people’s minds and one that Aunty Sally asks daily.

Aunty Sally, who is a home executive (as she calls it) or a nag who looks after the house (as her husband calls it), has been quarantining at home with her husband, Uncle Bobby. Now, if Uncle Bobby resembled Channing Tatum, it wouldn’t be so bad. But because he is a grumpy old man who walks around in his vest and underwear, Aunty Sally wishes she could be quarantined anywhere else but at home.

Even gossiping has lost its fun. With everyone staying home, the scandals in the area have dried up.
Aunty Sally longs for the days when she and Saras would discuss how Rajesh up the road was having an affair with Pushpa from the other street.

Things are so quiet now that Aunty Sally would even settle for news of one of the neighbour’s daughters sneaking out to meet her boyfriend, but alas, that is not the case.

Uncle Bobby also craves a lockdown lift. For two months, he has had to ration his alcohol supply, hiding most of it in his boot and drinking on the quiet whenever he has ‘work to do in the garage’.

And with Aunty Sally nagging often about him walking around in his vest and underpants, he finds that he has work in the garage to do more often. Uncle Bobby misses the days when he could sit at the bars with friends, complaining about whose wife was more of a dragon.
More often than not, it was a draw.

Uncle Bobby also misses watching the neighbourhood laaities fighting in the street, or pretending to fight at least. Unlike his days, when you settled it with one two hot slaps, the laaities of today do more talking than fighting. All they do is swear at each other, make bold claims about how they will finish each other off, and then hold each other back.

Now you can’t even shake hands with someone, let alone slap them. This suits Uncle Bobby just fine though.
Whenever Aunty Sally accuses him of being unloving or tries to get frisky at night, he uses social distancing as an excuse and rolls the other way to fall asleep.

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