The rise of the animals could be all too real
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the animals are about to take over.
The year 2020 has been one heck of a roller coaster ride, that’s for sure. Every year conspiracy theorists and doomsday prophets predict what will happen during the year ahead, but 2020 flipped the switch on everyone.
From the Australian fires to the threat of World War 3, 2020 got off to a shaky start. But just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, Covid-19 says ‘hold my beer’ and proceeds to kick everyone’s butt.
So is this the end of the line for us? Have we finally reached the end of days as spoken about in religious texts? One Philosopher, Dr Fulof Shiza, thinks there’s more to come.
Dr Shiza predicts that after the virus, humans will be forced to live indoors, only going out rarely for supply runs. As a result, those who are forced to live outdoors will mutate, starting a mini zombie apocalypse. Thankfully, brains in this part of the world are hard to come by and the zombies will soon starve.
Dr Shiza also predicts that by June, following the zombie apocalypse, life will return to normal for a period of time. Humans will go back to to their normal routine (assuming they remember what normal is) and all will be as it should be. That’s until the aliens visit in August.
The aliens, won’t hang around long either. Much like the zombies, they require intelligent life forms and will find none here. Before they leave though, they will grant animals the power to communicate with humans. With their newly achieved ability to communicate, animals will proceed to tell us what a s#*t job we’ve been doing and decide that we shouldn’t be in power anymore.
The animal uprising will begin in mid September on a farm (much like the George Orwell novel) and soon spread. As more and more animals realise that having a voice means having more power, they will begin to overthrow more and more governments. The cats, being natural born leaders, will assume control of the new animal nation, while the bigger animals will serve as law enforcement.
Humans will go back to being imprisoned in their homes or special zoos and circuses where they will be a great source of entertainment for young animals.
While wholly inaccurate before, Dr Shiza is convinced that this time his predictions are on point and is already building a bunker underneath his house to survive the year ahead.
HAVE YOUR SAY:
Like our Facebook page, follow us on Twitter and Instagram or email us at dundee.courier@caxton.co.za. Add us on WhatsApp 071 277 1394
