The year is almost over and what a tough one it has been: relationship, finance and sanity-wise due to the loss of loved ones.
If this year has not proved how strong we are as individuals, nothing else ever will.
Being a young black woman in 2019 is so different from being a young black woman back in the early 90s.
Women nowadays are no longer confined to the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, but are out there instead hustling for a better future, making ends meet for the children and the family.
Marriage is no longer the achievement it was in those days. We hardly get any wedding invites these days, and if we do it’s seen as a definite occasion to attend.
Over the years, so much has changed in society such as the high rise in women and child abuse, which is really saddening.
However, women are no longer afraid of speaking out against their perpetrators.
Women in general, are fighting for their rightful places in the corporate world and in their careers, which shows how powerful the female gender is.
A young black woman who is educated and permanently employed, automatically becomes a breadwinner according to black families.
With the high rate of unemployment, you can’t even question all the responsibilities bestowed upon you.
‘Black tax’ is inevitable, whether you are staying at home with your family or renting a place far from home – you can’t outrun it.
Black tax is that unspoken word you cannot speak against, because that would mean you are ‘turning your back’ on the people who have ‘held you down’ from a young age.
Having to take care of your sibling’s children and your younger cousins, once you are employed, is unquestionable.
It’s like you are paying back all the money used to get you where you are today.
Your family prides itself in your success and you become a beacon of hope; proof there is indeed a silver lining in every cloud.
The fact that you may not be earning well is not even considered.
You don’t dare tell them you are not earning six figures.
So with that huge responsibility, you have to make sure you put your family before yourself.
Your payday is known as a happy day and no one considers you may have debts to settle.
With such responsibilities, you may need a little boost from financial institutions just to make ends meet.
The words ‘I can’t afford it’ seem foreign in some families and you may end up coming across as someone who is stingy, when in actual fact you really can’t afford it.
Salary depression is real, but no one talks about it because society believes ‘at least you have a job to go to’, not considering whether that job meets your financial needs or not.
So many of us had vowed to save this year, even if it’s a mere R50, but with the Rand getting weaker by the day saving is almost impossible.
Let’s not be too hard on ourselves though – black tax has always been there and seems like it will always be.
We all need a breather, especially because we all work so hard to make a living and from time to time, we may need to stand up for ourselves and not be blinded by the title ‘breadwinner’. If you cannot afford to take your siblings under your wing, let your family know.
Don’t fall victim or succumb to unnecessary pressure. Help where you can and where you can’t, look at alternative ways of helping without having to spend money.
Let us be each other’s saving grace and derive support from each other, rather then pressuring ourselves to always make everyone happy.
If you are not happy yourself, you can’t make anyone else happy.
Black tax or no black tax – stand your ground.
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