Madam – How to deal with people who put you down.
Dealing with people who put you down can be a painful and hurtful experience. Sometimes the scars even last a lifetime. The first thing to know is that a happy, self-confident person does not put others down.
They might provide constructive criticism but they won’t put others down. This tells you a lot about the person who criticizes you. Some people are very negative about others because: they need to make themselves feel like they’re in control or more powerful or to cover up their own insecurities; they’ve experienced a trauma of their own in the past and they don’t know how to deal with the pain so they’ll hurt others as a defense mechanism.
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People’s tirades against you will probably reveal to you just how unhappy and disillusioned and frustrated that person is with life, and that’s their problem, not yours. Knowing this can go a long way to being able to detach from the comments.
If you know it has more to do with the person making the comments than about you, it makes it far easier to not feel hurt by what’s been said. Emotionally detaching from a person like this can be hard to do but you need to refuse to become involved. That person wants you to feel badly about yourself – don’t give them that power.
Marina Smal
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