You know how these days, despite the dreaded social media, you only really ‘meet up’ with people at funerals and weddings? Well, it’s not a myth – it is actually true.
If you have to invite all 1 234 of your Facebook friends to a party at your place, how many would come and how many of those would you actually talk to? Not many. Having a huge amount of Facebook friends is akin to having a large watch – it is a social status and no guarantee as a gauge on your popularity.
Imagine if Facebook or Twitter or whatever was around in those days when fresh faced wit ous had to ‘in klaar’ by the army. How would the posts of the new recruit go? Using a new-fangled app that can work back in history and supply comments to these ‘now’ devices, we came up with some:
Day one: Oooo, smiley faces etc. So excited – off to army today. Can’t wait to serve my country and meet new people. Today I will become a man. (He includes photo of his short hair)
Day two: So far so good. Corporal is very nice. Said he would bring us a coffee in bed every morning. He calls our camp Golden Sands, so it must be nice. Everyone is so friendly too. One of my new bungalow mates offered to shower with me. The food is not the best but as soldiers we must sacrifice. (Includes photos of his new friends)
Day three: Oh no. We have a new Corporal. He is not as nice as the other gentleman. This one barks at us at 3am every morning. (cross face). And we have to iron our bed – can you believe it. Apparently the Corporal wants the creases so sharp he wants to cut his finger on it. Odd guy. Also, they want us to polish our boots so hard that the Sergeant wants to see his face. Old Frikkie next to me has been polishing since 3pm and says he still can only see his face in his shiny boots – not the Sergeant’s, so he is still polishing.
Day 18: Sorry, have no time to post – really tragic. (Hundred red faces). We are running 2.4km every day with our full kit. What the hell is that s%^$. ???? I mean, is it fair? I bet our officers can’t run. We also had something called an oppie because one troepie do not shave for inspection!!!! How unfair is this place??????
Day 32: How they expect people to eat this horrible food? I mean really???? Sacrifice my gat. Am going to report these guys to the Human Rights Commission and my mum. And what happened to the hot water in the showers? All gone, this is a joke people.
Day 64: This all too much. Really k@k. I will not recommend this guys. Have not slept for days. In the bush and battling to get signal – can you believe it. Food worse than ever. We eating something called Ratpacks. Not surprised they called it that – but I reckon not even the rats would eat it. Hundreds of red faces etc. with hundreds of comments from gobsmacked friends etc.
Day 108: Stuff this lot. Army is s#$% and worse. I have shoe polish on my face. The Sergeant says our rifles are our wives. Some guy got a Dear Johnny in the post and promptly shot himself. No, this is not for me. Gatvol of Forces Favourites. Going home. (Includes photo of passbook signed).
HAVE YOUR SAY:
Like our Facebook page, follow us on Twitter and Instagram or email us at dundee.courier@caxton.co.za. Add us on WhatsApp 071 277 1394.
