Big Brother watching us all is not all good news

The good news is that Dundee is to finally get surveillance cameras. This issue has been debated before, in the days when we still used to have a town.
You know, before mayors had bodyguards and buddies got jobs in the Kremlin. Oh yes, and before statues cost R2,5-million.
Anyway, the camera issue was a hot topic once upon many a moon ago when the gadgets were given a trial run in the municipality, and members of the public were invited to have a look-see.
So impressed were members of the Council, businessmen and Community Policing Forum that an inspection in loco (love that term – reminds me of a crazy Mexican train driver) was carried out in Estcourt – the town that has had CCTV in the central business district since even before the Dundee Diehards fired their first shots in anger.
Great discussions were held at a later workshop in Wasbank – but nothing came of them. Countless armed robberies, hijackings, prostitution, gang activity, et cetera later – but still nothing has happened.
And now we hear CCTV is back on the agenda. Now, this is both good news and bad news. The good news is pretty logical.
A team of dedicated people monitor the screens (the cameras should cover all the ‘hot spots’ 24 hours a day) from a central location, connected to a battery of telephones, which are connected to an equally dedicated band of hardened policemen – complete with slavering hound dogs. At the sign of any disturbance picked up by the cameras and seen by the platoon of monitors, the band of alert policemen is dispatched and the transgressor picked up before he can say ‘Hi, Jack’.
Great news. Tourism Dundee can advertise our town as the safest battlefields town in the province, and we may even have a chance to knock off his perch that infernal Newcastle Mayor, who just seems to get everything right and even has half of our town shopping in his – even if it is just to drink coffee at Mugg & Bean.
The bad news is a bit darker.
Strange things happen after sunset. Young ladies dressed in dark PT shorts start prowling around Beaconsfield Street, near the traffic circle, and start chatting to truck drivers who park their juggernauts near the library and post office. Drunken louts emerge from all kinds of holes and start having brawls in the middle of the road – especially in the McKenzie Street area. Secret meetings are held in various locations – probably to discuss tenders.
And then there are a few vampires who swoop around. Not to mention the aliens who defecate in the small alley next to Michelle’s bookshop.
Yes, Dundee comes alive after dark. That may just be enough to frighten off the camera monitors. And who will look after us then?