The good ship Black Pearl is floundering in stormy waters…

The good ship Black Pearl is floundering in stormy waters. Mutinous crew members are breathing down the neck of poor Jack Sparrow, who for years has survived mostly by using wit and negotiation rather than weapons or force, preferring to flee most dangerous situations and fight only when necessary.
For a time it appeared as if the treacherous Captain Hector Barbossa would get his way and drive the Black Pearl onto the rocks of stolen electricity and dwindling financial resources.
But Jack has also been a naughty boy. He has been using the Captain’s car for all kinds of mysterious trips to the foreign lands of Gauteng and Durban, often exceeding the speeds of any pirate ship. The chaos that has surrounded his reign has seen the Black Pearl flounder, and he has even been outwitted by HMS Dannhauser, which successfully secured a new industrial park, much to the irritation of the serfs who pay the Black Pearl’s ever-increasing bills.
Lord Cutler Beckett (secondary antagonist of the Dead Man’s Chest and a devious, ruthless, manipulative, elegant and treacherous mastermind) probably engineered a sword fight, which even Advocate Will Turner had to flee from in front of the Kremlin.
Blackbeard – a back-stabbing individual, whose poisoned sword has cut a swathe of municipal mischief throughout Endumeni – also assisted him.
Not even the Royal Navy, represented by the SAPS, could bring to book the 30 or so who bravely kicked and assaulted the fleeing advocate.
They can nail those who fail to pay their TV licences, but those who assault people in broad daylight in St Peter’s Square are considered Royal Game.
So the Black Pearl has also taken on board crew members who are soon to get seasick. Their inexperience on choppy waters could prove fateful.
Fateful because the ship is lurching ever-closer to the Bermuda Triangle with Davy Jones, who has been in hot pursuit since September 25. But even Davy has come under fire, surviving a tyre-slashing episode on his nice new SUV, which he thought he had parked in friendly waters.
But fear not, good serfs, when all else fails send in the Royal Navy, under the command of MEC Lieutenant Commander Theodore Groves.
Riding into port with a convoy of black ships, blue lights and sails, it appears as if Jack and his crew and the ring of would-be loyal crew are going to be rounded up and sent to the gallows.
It will be messy end to a reign that has taken the Black Pearl over some terrible waters, into icebergs and ultimately into the Bermuda Triangle.
We are sure like all good movies these days: there will be a sequel, but this time with Captain Cook at the wheel.