#MotivationMonday: Five jokes to get you through your Monday

With the hustle and bustle of a Monday, why not give yourself a five minute break to loosen up and have a laugh?

Below are five jokes to help get you through your day while smiling.

Enjoy!

1. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband,”Shut up…you’re next!”

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2. Teacher: “Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!”
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: “Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!”
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: “Ohh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?”
Little Johnny: “No… i just feel bad that you’re standing alone.”

3. Three drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”.
The first guy gave him money and the second guy said “Thank you”.
The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked “What was that for?”. The third guy replied, “Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!”

4. It’s Game seven of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’
‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?‘
The neighbor says, ‘Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
‘This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?’
The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

5. After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, “You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?”
Little Johnny offers, “Miss, it’s so we wouldn’t wake all those people sleeping.”

Also read:

#MotivationMonday: Six reasons to drink coffee

TECH TUESDAY: Can we take back our lives from technology?

#WackyWednesday: When autocorrect lets you down

#ThrowBackThursday: May the fourth be with you

#FoodPornFriday: Meals for a day, made in a mug

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