Ten Things Tuesday – The Ten Commandments of Instant Messaging

Let’s face it, instant messaging has made our lives so much easier.

No matter where you are in the world, you can still communicate with friends or loved ones at the push of a button.

Sadly, the easier messaging has become, the more lazy and gullible people have become too.

Here’s ten rules you never should break when instant messaging.

1. Never add people to a group without asking them if they want to be a part of it first. How often do you check your phone and find that you have 20 unread messages, only to realise that you’ve been added to some random group chat. The 20 messages are from people also asking who created the group and why are they in it.

2. Never respond with just the word ‘K’. Unless you’re allergic to the O button or are referring to Potassium, it’s never acceptable to just say ‘K’. Are you that lazy to type out ok? It’s just one letter more.

3. Don’t say you’re going to be right back and never return. It’s a common scenario nowadays, people typing ‘brb’ (be right back and then never responding but their profile picture changes a few hours later. Unless you’ve been abducted by aliens during that time, what’s your excuse for not coming back?

4. Don’t type LOL for every single thing. You have a great sense of humour? Do you find stuff funny? That’s great, but never just respond with LOL. The person on the other end doesn’t believe you’re laughing out loud for every single thing. Most of the time it’s just a way of saying, ‘I don’t know what to say so it’s easier to type LOL.’

5. Don’t only reply in emojis. We all love the smiley face or the little poo that could be an ice cream, but that doesn’t mean we need to see it after every single message. If you have nothing to say or don’t feel like typing, just tell the person. Just don’t send a thumbs up emoji after receiving a long message.

6. Don’t read a message but never respond.We understand that life gets busy and you can’t always reply, but don’t open a message unless you have time or plan on responding. Everyone hates seeing those ticks to say a message is read, but never receive a response for it.

7. Don’t send chain messages telling people they will be blessed if they pass it on to 10 people in less than a minute. Are we trying to beat a Guinness World Record for the fastest broadcast message sent to 10 people? Does God have a time limit for his blessings? So why is it so vital that we send it out now or else.

8. Don’t send broadcast messages telling people they have to upgrade or else the service won’t be free. Yes I did read what Jim Balsamic had to say in your broadcast and no I don’t have two blue ticks on my profile to say it’s verified, but I’ll take my chances. I’m sure I will still have Whatsapp tomorrow even if I don’t sent this message to all my contacts.

9. Don’t reply with the word ‘Hmmmm’. What is hmmm anyway? Are you pausing for thought? Are you moaning? Is it good or bad? I can never tell. Are you pretending to be a car like when we were kids and made the most unrealistic car sounds ever? If it’s not any of the above, why are you using hmmm so much?

10. Stop using so many acronyms and abbreviations. It seems as if  no one can have a complete conversation without having to abbreviate every word or slide in acronyms when they’re lazy to type. Worse is that this generally carries over to real life and people start using words like Totes for Totally and Defo for Definitely. Why can’t we just type and speak proper English anymore?