Sonja Vorster
Almost on a daily basis we hear of horrible acts of bullying in our schools. Hardly ever do we hear of bullying in the workplace. Is it not because there is no bullying, I can assure you bullies are alive and thriving in the workplace.
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The only reason you do not hear of it is due to the fact that, an adult male or female who is a victim of bullying remains silent. Why? In many instances the person who is the perpetrators is either in a senior position or the victim is too intimidated to speak up and do something about it for absolute fear of losing their jobs and/or being ridiculed even further by co-workers.
Synonyms or alternative descriptions for bullies are “tormentors”, “oppressors” , “intimidators, “tyrants”, “persecutors” and these people have been around for ages. You find them in all sorts of places and they thrive on belittling a victim.
Tactics a bully may use in a workplace can be subtle in the beginning and become more aggressive as time goes on.
The bully may feel more empowered as you do not know how to get around or out of the situation without creating an unpleasant situation or possibly fear of losing your job, if the bully is your direct or indirect senior, or even a co-worker at your own level who tries to step on you while he or she tries to climb the corporate ladder at your expense.
The person starts gossiping, spreading rumours about you. The rumours would be malicious and embarrassing.
Taking credit and praise for work you have done or an idea you have been working on. A bully isolates a victim. Often forcing a victim to do menial or demeaning tasks.
A bully will sometimes be very direct and aggressive especially if they are big in frame and you are smaller. Victims can be physically pushed around and now with social media the bullies will sometimes publically humiliate you.
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You need to understand the psychology of a bully before you are able to help yourself out of the situation. A bully normally has been bullied themselves either as a child or as an adult. They dominate as they have been dominated.
They have a low self-image. They are weaklings as they tend to go for soft targets. You may not think so now, but a bully only gains strength from your fear and in numbers. Bullies are loud and obnoxious. But they can also change their behaviour to appear professional and a team player until you are alone with the bully.
To defend yourself against a bully is not easy and it is a battle you normally will be faced with alone. That is what made the bully target you in the first place. You need to start gathering evidence. Create a diary of events.
Date, times, witnesses and a detailed account of every single event you found yourself in the firing line of the bully. Invest in a small recorder as it may be your word against the bully. It is not legal to record a person without their knowledge but desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you know that no one will stand up and testify on your behalf, use a recording device. Keep the device on your person as they can record digitally for up to 72 hours and you can download the recordings and store it.
If an incident occurs, you can delete the areas where nothing happened and keep the section of the incident or write down the timer number in order to fast forward efficiently to the event if you wish to keep the whole day’s recording.
When and only when, you have enough evidence, can you take action. This is when you will have to be very brave and realise if you do nothing the bully will just continue to make your life miserable.
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If you stand up against the bully strong enough, they always back off as they are weaklings. They are not accustomed to anybody fighting back. Remember that no fighter can climb into a fighting ring without being fit and prepared for the task at hand.
Rehearse your presentation of the evidence in order for you to feel assertive and sure of your case. If working in a larger company that has a human resources manager available, lodge a grievance procedure against the bully, the company will be tasked to act on the grievance.
If you have gathered enough evidence to prove you have been a victim, the bully will face disciplinary charges. If it is a small company and the bully is your boss, you can either look for another job or resign and claim constructive dismissal at the CCMA or you can still approach the CCMA with a case of harassment and remain in the company.
One thing you must remember if you are a victim, doing nothing is not an option. If you do not gather the courage to stand up and say no more – enough is enough, no one will do it for you. A school child being bullied can go to their parents, but you as an adult in the workplace, must do it for yourself.
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