Introducing the Dundee Gauntlet Challenge

There have been some great events in the area lately – the airshow; Winter Sports Challenge; DHS’s reunion; the Uelzen Bazaar; Derby Day, to mention a few. The annual Biltongfees is also approaching (now now, just because it’s being organised out of Vryheid doesn’t mean we shouldn’t support it…). 
The Dundee July is also coming up, as is the Elandskraal Bazaar.
So to get in on the action the Bowman and myself started planning another event: the Dundee Gauntlet Challenge. Along the same lines as ‘The Amazing Race’, contestants will have to make their way through a series of challenges to be the first to finish (alive).
Starting at Spar on pension payout day, contestants will have to have a loaf of bread sliced before successfully navigating their way through the tills. They will then have to walk to Union Street via the smelly alley without being accosted by glue-sniffing carguards and street children, having to correctly identify three drug dens and lay a charge against a neighbour (for ‘swearing them’) along the way. 
They will then collect ten bags of refuse at the Oval (after a political function) and deliver them to the railway line across the road from KFC. After this contestants must make a sign from cardboard and hitchhike to the testing station where Manie, Mandla and Colin will quiz them on the correct rules of traffic circles. 
If they manage to pass this stage contestants must then find a giant python, either on the golf course or at the cemetery, and deliver it to any local sangoma. 
There they will have to correctly guess the name of the next municipal manager before attending a Council meeting to reverse resolutions from last September. Following the Council meeting contestants must snap a photo of a bridal company in front of the fountain before proceeding to a function at the Moth Hall to down their choice of either a bottle of Henessey’s or prickly-pear mampoer.
Contestants will then have the option to participate in a Diehards re-enactment, ref a Sentraal match or judge a potjie competition (each of these as dangerous as the other…).
Finally, contestants (who are still standing) must assist the SPCA inspector by collecting three roaming or stray dogs (more difficult than you’d imagine).
Bonus points will be awarded for destroying parking meters or stealing pensioners’ bank cards along the way.
The prize for the winner will be a braai in Coronation Park; second prize a catering tender; third prize a Mandela statue…