Healthy Friday: 9 ingredients for a healthy relationship

Communication is key

Communication is crucial in a healthy relationship. Healthy couples speak about their love for each other. They discuss issues and don’t pretend they are not there. They discuss their feelings and their needs regardless of how awkward it makes them feel. They build each other up complimenting and boosting each other.

Respect – the cornerstone

Respect comes in many forms. It means trusting your partner, trusting and accepting their character and their values. There are many things people do in relationships that can break down respect. Name-calling and talking negatively about your partner to friends or family, are high on the list.

The language of love

According to Gary Chapman there are five love languages. People have unique ways of feeling loved. There are words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. It’s important to know which love language speaks to you, and to your partner. Telling each other what makes you feel loved and special helps both of you stay connected. Make sure you are attending to your partner’s love language consistently as well.

Time well spent

It doesn’t matter how much time you and your partner spend together. What is important is how you spend that time together. It’s OK to have dinner in front of the TV vegetating together, but you also need to make time to have a meal together where there are no distractions and where you are engaging and connecting at a deep level.

Alone time

Being together is important, but spending time apart is just as important. Doing your own thing and remaining independent is vital to a successful relationship. Spending too much time together can lead to co-dependence which is not healthy. Maintaining healthy boundaries and some autonomy will make for a long-lasting relationship.

Show your appreciation

We often forget to let other people in our lives know that we appreciate them. We think it, but we don’t show or say it. This happens in our romantic relationships as well. Show your partner that you love them. This could be done with words, cards, flowers or anything that would make the other person happy – and not only on Valentine’s Day.

Choose your battles

There are bones of contention in every relationship. It’s important to discuss issues, but how toothpaste tubes are squeezed and which way the toilet paper roll should face should not be on the agenda. Choose your battles wisely if your relationship is important to you.

Positive vs Negative

Sometimes we get caught up in the negative energies surrounding us. We hate our jobs, are disappointed in our friends, and our partner is getting on our nerves. It’s vital that we look at our partner’s positive qualities, in contrast to the negative. Nobody is perfect, and that includes you.

Happiness is no comparisons

We often compare ourselves and our lives to those of others – what other people have that we don’t. The happiest couples know the dangers of comparison. They are grateful for what they have. They live in the moment and grab opportunities as they arise. They focus on their own lives and their own growth.