Nine decades of love, life, laughter and yes-some tears sprinkled in
A Northcliff resident recently celebrated her 90th birthday. She recounts her life and the pleasures and heartache she witness in this time.
As the door to a Northcliff home opened, at its threshold, ready to welcome one in, stood petit, Maria Magdalena Cruywagen, who, adorned in her best pearly smile, welcomed one warmly into the house.
Her smile can quite naturally put at ease anyone’s unsettled heart but, on this particular day, it seemed to hold within it, even more grandeur. This is due to her recent milestone celebration of her 90th birthday, where she was surrounded by family. Born in Fordsburg in 1923, as soon as her father saw her, he called her Dolly, a name she would subsequently be known by all her life.
She let the paper in on what her life has been like in the last 90 years. Dolly’s father was 27 years old when he passed away from gangrene in his leg. At the time she was barely a year old, and her mother was now a 21-year-old widow. Following her father’s death, she was raised by her grandparents while her mother, now a breadwinner, was mostly working. She wasn’t an only child for too long, however, as through her second marriage, her mom had three boys. Though two of them have since passed, she has monthly breakfasts with her remaining brother.
As an ambitious young woman, after school, she applied for work in various sectors of business and was of course accepted to work at all of them but ultimately chose to work at a bank, as they paid the most. Five years into her career the bank gave her a good sum of money which she and her husband used as a down payment towards a plot of land in Northcliff. There, they built a sprawling home fit to raise their three children and to spend the following 35 years. Similar to most family homes, once the children get older there is really little reason to live in a big house with just two people. So, the pair eventually moved to Blackheath, where they lived for 15 years. Sadly, it was during this time that her husband died.
“I had a very good life with my husband and children. I never had a domestic, doing all the work myself. This kept me very busy. I also helped at church, working with the elderly and I worked in communities like Montclare.” Now her time is spent indulging in some of her favourite pastimes such as knitting and reading. Sewing was a skill she was taught by her mother, something she actually became quite good at. She would sew her children’s pyjamas or dresses but what she thinks she was really good at was making curtains.
About 10 years ago, to help ease their minds about her safety, her family urged her to live with one of them and so she has been living with her grandson. She tries not to be a burden to her family; in recent years she chose to sell her car after they shared their concerns about her driving by herself. When she was mobile, she would spend her Thursday morning heading out to the hair salon and then to the local shopping centre to get her groceries. “Now I am dependent on the children, and they work you know. So, if it’s very urgent I get an Uber. Other times they fetch me when they can during working hours.”
The nonagenarian urges the young to find something they are passionate about and keep busy, as you cannot be idle. “Once you get old, like me, your eyesight gets weak, your hearing fades, legs start to give in.” She recognises that it is hard to come from being independent to have to be dependent on others. She always tells her children, that even with age, your mind is still young – it’s your body that can’t keep track with your mind. “You can’t do what you want to do or what you think you can do because your body doesn’t have the strength to do it.”
She never thought she would reach this age, saying when you are young you think little about getting old until one day you wake up and you’re suddenly 80 years old then 85 then 90! Dolly’s whole extended family has practically died out, with just three cousins remaining, one of whom lives in Holland and will celebrate their 91st birthday in December.
Dolly ultimately sees herself as an ordinary former housewife.
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