Margerith Marais (67) lives in Fairland and is still mourning two friends of her friends who took their own lives. They were both in their late 60s. Another made an attempt but survived.
“It has been very traumatic to lose my friends and I wish things had turned out differently for them.”
She hopes to provide some insight for children of older parents to ensure they remain present and active in their parent’s lives.
“Some children have no desire to look after or even visit their parents and it is distressing. I don’t understand it.”
The first friend, a lady who was 69, took an overdose of medication. “She was divorced and lost her job. Her children said she needed to move into an old age home because they were emigrating.
“She felt abandoned, isolated, a burden to her family and was found dead on her bed.”
The second, also a female who was 66, overdosed on rat poison while accommodation was being found for her after her job ended.
The friend that survived her attempted to cut her wrists. “She is 65 and has a son who does not want to help in any way. She became overwhelmed by the lack of options she had when trying to leave her alcoholic and violent husband.”
She firmly believes that money troubles are the leading cause of suicidal ideation in the elderly. “Money can buy solutions to problems like accommodation, help around the home or access to the right medications.”
She says many people did not realise how little their pensions would provide, and ‘those who get a Sassa government grant are desperate with rising costs of everything’.
Marias says, “We do not become useless when we age; we just navigate our world a little differently. Please call your parents if you can; please pop in to see them as often as possible and maybe help them find a hobby to occupy their time that they can enjoy if nothing else.”
She urges others to check in with their elderly neighbours and friends whenever possible so they are reminded they are not alone and without support when needed.
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