Talk with loved ones about funeral expectations
With families struggling in a stalling economy, removing the emotional burden of needing to spend untold thousands on a funeral can go a long way to protecting financial security.
With the local economy stuttering and families finding the cost of living ever increasing, spending thousands on lavish funerals might not be possible without spiralling into debt.
Keshnie Mathi is an end-of-life doula and teacher who formed The Wellness Specialist and lives in Greymont. She teaches others to care for the dying in a non-medical and spiritual way with the aim of assisting families to prepare for a loved one’s passing with as little trauma as possible.
“Grief takes so much from us, and the most prominent thing is it removes the ability to do more for our loved one who is no longer with us. Sometimes this can result in families overspending and putting themselves into debt, or making rash decisions, based on their desire to do more – or that one final thing that truly shows their love.”
She says many family members who have died would not want their families getting themselves into debt for an expensive funeral if they cannot afford it.
Calling an undertaker is usually the first step in dealing with the practicalities of handling the body of the deceased person as there are strict laws and regulations.
It is at this point that previous discussions between you and your family about the wishes of the departed come into play.
“An intimate farewell including a picnic and writing letters to their loved ones and sharing it is as impactful as an out-of-budget funeral with a hefty price tag to somehow quantify their love. At the end of the day, the family needs to do what they think is right for them, but this does not mean that the impact of the costs needs to impact their future,” says Mathi.
Legitimate undertakers will not force unnecessary expenses on a family, but there are some that are needed, depending on the circumstances of the death.
The Northcliff Melville Times visited several gravesites being prepared for a funeral at Westpark Cemetery to look at some of the options families have chosen to bid farewell to a loved one.
It costs R3 259 to secure the space there and for the grave to be dug for an adult, a cost that will usually be included in an undertaker’s fee. A child’s grave will cost R1 628.11.
Valentino Meyers from Rand Funerals in Brixton, like all funeral parlors, offers a range of packages available to families burying their loved ones. “We do all we can to accommodate families with limited budgets to give dignified send-offs to family members. If the cause of death is natural, that brings down costs significantly.”
Adelaid Thabane of Thladi Funeral Home was preparing to welcome mourners to a funeral where the grave had been reinforced with concrete and bricks. “This grave will never be tampered with once it has been sealed, an option for some families that brings comfort if they can afford it.”
White doves were an extra touch, waiting in cages ready to be released during the funeral.
Reggie Moloi, manager of cemeteries and crematoria for City Parks, explained in a previous article that options are available if an indigent person dies. “There is a social burial policy that can be utilised through the city, but the criteria to qualify is strict. The family will need to inform their local ward councillor of the death who will perform investigations to confirm the financial status of the individual and family. So too will the Department of Social Development. If all the criteria are met, the family can choose to have the deceased either buried or cremated.”
Mathi says there are some cost-effective ways to show your love, but also maintain budgets:
- Get quotes for funeral arrangements with various suppliers, with and without catering to compare
- Have everyone bring a meal or contribute to the celebration
- Have a life celebration event a month later so that funds can be raised over two months
- Ask yourself, what can we do and what can they do when arranging the final goodbye (funeral or memorial)
- Don’t feel you need to carry it all on your own.
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