Here are some signs to look out for if you are worried your teen may decide to run away
Many parents fear the teenage years because it's a time when our children individuate but are also more vulnerable and prone to trying to tackle issues on their own.
The Northcliff Melville Times decided to take a look into some of the issues facing teens and why they might go missing. This information is not based on the Fairland case.
Mahmood Cassim Vulnerable Citizens Support Initiative (VCSI) coordinator said, “There are a variety of reasons why teenagers go missing. In many instances, they chose to leave home, not realising the trauma they put their loved ones through.”
“The initial glamour and adventure about being on the streets soon fades away as the reality is quite the opposite. Real dangers exist and the consequences often end in mortality.”
He says children’s inability to cope with stressful situations is sometimes just enough to push them over the edge.
“They need ongoing education from an early age to handle situations where they can cope.”
“Being a parent in today’s environment is not easy. The key is to recognise – and not ignore – warning signs that something is amiss.”
Last week the Linden police started searching for a teenager who went missing.
“The chain reaction for finding a missing person began and I was in contact with her father.”
She was located two streets away from the family home. A lack of clear communication between the two led to her being reported as missing.
Communication is key says Cassim, “Children need attention and affection in huge doses. It reassures them that you care and are concerned about them.”
Things to look out for:
- Changes in behaviour
- Changes in levels of communication
- Outbursts of anger
- Withdrawal from family life
“Reaching out from both the parent and child’s perspective can save more than a relationship. It can save a life and alter the future. Remember that none of our lives are perfect so don’t ever be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. It’s the right thing to do.”
A high percentage of runaways experience some kind of abuse.
Some outside influences include:
- Bad friends
- Bullying
- Breakdown in the family unit
- Financial constraints
- Addiction
- Abuse – physical, verbal, mental or sexual
“If we try and analyse the root causes, it points to a large degree to conditions at home. When there is love and stability in the home, there exists a healthy environment for children to develop into responsible adults.”
Without this, it can lead to, “Unhealthy habits such as drug and alcohol abuse, the exploitation of underage and immature children through sex and pornography, the lure of easy money, the seeming excitement of being sought and proclaimed as a ‘hero’ in the eyes of their peers and so on.”
He describes finding increased numbers of young people finding themselves wandering the streets. “Many young adults we have spoken to say they prefer life on the streets because it is better than being at home. These homeless individuals find shelters too regimental and restrictive as they have become accustomed to a carefree life living off hand-outs.”
What you need to know if you think someone is missing
- Don’t panic, but act swiftly – search methodically around the house or area before you raise the alarm (many people are discovered close to where they last were seen)
- Check with family, friends, school or colleagues
- If no result, immediately raise the alarm and report to the police
- Once identified as missing – there are no waiting times to open a case at the police.
What you need to report a missing person:
- To report a case, you must be an immediate family member or someone with a provable close relationship to the individual.
- A recent photograph. Make it a habit in your family to keep up-to-date photos on mobile phones, especially if there has been a drastic change in appearance like a new haircut or hair colour.
- Form 55 will be opened to capture all personal details. This will generate an OB number which is needed for groups like VCIS to create a missing persons poster and activate themselves to search for the individual.
- Be open with all information asked, even if it may be uncomfortable or embarrassing. Information is treated confidentially and may be critical to locate the individual.
Related Article:
If someone goes missing, here is everything you need to know
