UJ student takes us through her journey as a teenage mom

Thando Sibanyoni writes:

I was born in Warden, Free State. I am a 19-year-old student at the University of Johannesburg, doing my BCom Accounting degree.

In 2022, while I was doing my second year, I got pregnant. I was a busy girl. I used to drink, smoke, and party. I was dating multiple guys at the same time because of the hype from the streets and other things that don`t make sense to me when I look back.

I got back with my first boyfriend; we dated, and I fell pregnant. It was a changing experience because I had planned everything for my life, and the pregnancy was not part of the plan.
I first told my mom about the pregnancy, and luckily, she was supportive. I decided to keep the baby because I don’t believe in abortions. Because of the stress that I had, my marks at the university started dropping, as it was sometimes difficult for me to get out of bed and go to class.

After writing the June exams, I qualified for three supplement modules, and I passed two and failed one. After exams, I decided to move back home, and things started to get slightly better.
It was difficult for me to study during that time because I was seven months pregnant and it was hot because it was summer. I was always tired, but I pushed myself to study no matter what the circumstance was.

I passed most of my modules and failed one, which was a year module. I can say that I started last year on a bad note and everything went downhill or even worse. I told myself that it is not the end of the road; the only thing that I need to do is raise my child and do better when the school reopens.

Now, I am in my third year, but because I am repeating a module, my final year is next year.
Raising a child and studying as a single teenage mom is not easy, and I sometimes find it difficult to do both, but I try. The father of my child is not present in our lives and this affected me negatively. I used to cry every night before going to sleep.

I can say that now I am doing well and I love my daughter so much. I now qualify for exams as hard as it was with the sleepless nights, doubting myself, feeling like I am not doing enough, and also being left by my baby’s daddy. Through all of that, I am still hopeful that great things are coming into my life.

I told myself that I needed to get my life back on track and focus on my studies. I am getting help from my friend`s mother with babysitting my daughter when I am writing.

What I want to tell other students is that they should not have children. If they are having sex, they should go to the clinic for contraceptives, so that they do not get pregnant. Also, we cannot be Thomas’s and learn the hard way as I did. We see these things happening, and we normalise them. We should think about our future and take it seriously. I hope that my story changes someone`s life and that they avoid making the same mistakes that I did.

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