From the time our country went into a lockdown to slow down the spread of the Corona virus, our lives changed completely. Some people lost their jobs, other experienced salary cuts and adjustments had to be made in many households. Children had to stop going to school and could no longer play with their friends. Their daily routine was completely destroyed. Life changed like we do not know it for everyone. While we many think that adults are the only ones who became stressed, kids were hugely impacted. The changes in life due to the Corona virus have made life stressful for children as well. It is up to you as a parent to help your child cope. Your attitude determines how well they cope or suffer due to these hectic changes.
How can parents help children cope?
A concept that experts say will help children cope is what they term mindfulness. So important is the concept that it’s predicted that it will soon be added into the South African school curriculum. Nan Lutz, mindfulness coach and Mindfulness Africa director, explains mindfulness and how it can be practised to help parents and their children cope.
Being mindful of mindfulness
According to Lutz, mindfulness is something that we often do naturally. “It’s about being in the present moment and paying attention to what we’re doing. In essence it’s “Stop and smell the roses”, action, to count to 10 or take three deep breaths,” she explains, adding that it’s not the addiction to busyness and distraction that we were addicted to before this pandemic started. By being mindful, we bring an attitude of presence and understanding of who we are and how we show up in our own being. Lutz emphasises that kindness and compassion are a really important part of this and this includes being kind and compassionate to both others, and to ourselves.
Techniques that parents can use with their kids to be more mindful
Create a routine
- Create a new routine with your child, and make sure this is one that’s helpful for both you and your child in terms of workload and support
Change your attitude
- Change your frame of mind from “this is a disaster” to “I will overcome this” or “this has been done before” or “I can do this”. They will copy the positive attitude.
- View mindfulness as learning, and allow it to take up some space in your child’s day.
- Make a choice to show up and be present with your children, giving them your undivided attention for a period each day to create that soothing connection.
Mindful breathing and movement
- When in a stressful situation, take a moment to take three deep breaths, focusing on the inhale and the exhale
- Use a breathing buddy with your child – a soft toy or pillow that can be placed on their stomach as they take three deep belly breaths, or practice gentle breathing. Have them focus on their breathing buddy as it rocks with their breathing
- Take a walk around the garden or house, taking time to notice things like a flower or insect using all your senses
Practise gratitude
- Set a time in the day to write down something you’re grateful for, and place it into a “gratitude jar” or write down 3 things that you’re grateful for in a daily gratitude journal
- At bedtime, ask your children what happened today that went well, or that they are grateful for. You can also ask what they’re looking forward to tomorrow, expanding their mind and learning ability
Spend time with pets
- Stroking a pet’s fur will introduce a new texture sensation that can help bring you out of a state of fear. This can also work with soft toys
- A dog’s facial geometry is comforting to people. Stare into a dog’s eyes to get your brain to release oxytocin, the love and connection hormone.
Practical ideas for parents to help kids in a panic situation
Some children are back at school and because they fear an invisible enemy, they get into state of panic or anxiety, that’s difficult to break out of. This can equally affect you as well. Here are some top tips to help bring you or your kids back into a more present and mindful state:
- Take three deep breaths, focusing on your breathing
- Stroke materials with different textures, to soothe and realign the brain. If you or your child are particularly anxious, carry something with a soft texture with you in the car or your bag
- Use your senses to notice things around you: Use 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 to notice:
- 5 things that you can see
- 4 things that you can touch
- 3 things that you can hear
- 2 things that you can smell
- 1 thing that you can taste
