Mommy moments: Finding the balance

I POSTED a meme on my WhatsApp status the other night because it was something I could relate to.

It said: “Me trying to raise kids, exercise, excel in my work, not be broke, stay hydrated, get enough sleep, maintain the house and not lose my mind” with a pic of a battered-up man underneath.

Also read: Mommy moments: It’s the final countdown

It’s something I’ve been going through for some time – getting used to being a mum to a baby again – my older daughters are almost 18 and 15 – getting back to work and finding my rhythm there, then balancing work-life, mom-life, wife-life while fitting in ‘me’ time and figuring out who I am these days. If you’re going to ask, “Oh then, why did you have children?” …Don’t, just don’t.

If there’s one thing they don’t tell you about when you’re pregnant, it’s about the fourth trimester – the toll on your mind, body and soul is crazy! Anyway, back to the meme…

I was saying it was something I was feeling and could relate to, but low and behold, I am not the only one.

I had new moms, old moms and moms who became moms again, like me, comment and tell me how they were also struggling. I knew I couldn’t be the only one, but I didn’t expect anyone to open up and talk about it, but, boy, am I glad they did.

We spoke about the constant fatigue and how when the two-hour interval feeding is over, and you think you can catch a tiny break, some other milestone comes along with a sleep regression for your little cherub, so you’re still tired, but it’s just a different kind of tired.

Also read: 10 Fun activities for kids on a rainy day

What I was most delighted to learn was that these mom friends of mine have supportive partners, who much like my husband, do anything they can to make life easier, including listening to our crazy outbursts. Also, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who loses my sh!t once a week. He knows it’s a cleansing ceremony for my mind, so he lets me be.

These men are doing chores around the house, cooking or prepping ingredients for meals, bathing their children, feeding their children or just keeping the little monsters busy so that Mom can take a longer shower, wash her hair or shave her legs.
Sadly, these things become a luxury when you’re a mom to little children.

While I am not one to reward a fish for swimming, and by that I mean – I believe a man that does all of the above is doing what he is meant to do as a husband and father – I still think they need to be commended because there were some of my mom friends who get no support at all from their partners. They think we’re living in the 1800s and that taking care of children, their [partner’s] children, I might add, and doing stuff around the house – in which they [their partner] also lives – is solely a women’s job. Hogwash!

The one question these moms, just like myself, are constantly asking themselves is, when will it start to get better? Or will I always be this physically drained and an emotional wreck?

I explained this to a friend of mine over the weekend who is a mom to a teenager and really wants to have another baby, telling her that I sometimes can’t even poop when I need to, and sometimes motherhood is the loneliest road you will ever go down, and she reminded me that these whirlwind days don’t last forever.

“These kids grow up so quickly. The years go by so quickly, and soon your baby will be all grown and you’ll be able to poop whenever you want to.”

Hang in there, all you mommas. This too shall pass.

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