I’VE noticed that a stigma still exists with regard to taking medication for mental health issues, and I find this so tragic and harmful.
Let me share my mental health story: Since I was a kid, I suffered from anxiety due to some difficult life circumstances. It got worse in my teens and even worse when I became a young adult. Things improved a bit when I got married, partly from the sense of emotional safety I felt in a good relationship (at the time), and my mental health especially bloomed when I could stay at home and look after my kids when they were babies.
Things happen in life that can affect our mental health, such as difficult circumstances and physiological effects from things like illness, hormonal issues or even dieting. My anxiety started to come back here and there and then hit full-blown Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2016 and 2017 when I was going through marital separation and divorce. Shortly after, I experienced a stressful incident where my son and I were mugged outside our front gate. It brought up an old trauma from being hijacked at gunpoint in Zambia years ago. My anxiety came back in full force. I could barely sleep at night and was struggling to eat.
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I went to a GP, and he prescribed an anti-depressant – I can’t remember the name, but I do know that it was one of the older, more addictive ones. I’d never gone on anti-depressants before and was a bit nervous as I’d heard bad stories. A guy I’d had a relationship with had said that it made women weird when they took the drugs, and he refused to date them, so I felt like a failure for taking the medicine. I was expecting the worst, but I was also desperate. Well, the medication made me feel awful. The doctor gave me no indication on how to phase it in or what I might feel starting up the medication, nor did he promise to monitor me; he just wrote up a script. Feeling so spaced out and detached from any positive emotions, I decided to go off it. Another guy friend at the time encouraged me to never go on anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs as they are bad for us and are addictive. So, I decided to tough it out. We moved to a safer area, and my anxiety eased.
It all comes to a head
Fast-forward to 2019 and financial crunch time – my anxiety returned. I ended up in hospital with strange symptoms that my wonderful GP could not work out the source of. They ran tests and then diagnosed me with Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I stayed at a rehabilitation place (Nurture) afterwards and worked with a wonderful psychiatrist who prescribed a medicine for me that was non-addictive and worked – it did take a few months to kick in totally, but she gave me something to tide me over until then. But she monitored me the whole time, and we tweaked the dosages, etc.
Four years later, I have to say that the medication has changed my life! I am still authentically ‘me’, but now, I can cope with and achieve so many more things. I can follow my dreams. The only possible symptoms I have experienced are a bit of sleepiness in the mornings and some weight gain – although that could have been caused by other factors. But, it’s worth it to have the strength to cope with life’s ups and downs.
Lately, I’ve come across people in real life or online who have stopped their medication and then had a serious mental health relapse months later because of it. They stopped their medication suddenly without working with a psychiatrist to make sure they are coping along the way and doing it right.
Why? Well, there has been and still is a stigma attached to anti-anxiety medication, anti-depressants, or any other mental health medication. When I was growing up, you didn’t speak about mental illness. You kept things under wraps else you would be deemed ‘crazy’. That didn’t help my anxiety. I didn’t know I was suffering from anxiety which made it even worse.
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Then, there is the general myth that anxiety medicine makes you like a zombie and that you become addicted and can never get off the drugs. Well, maybe some of the earlier ones were quite sedative and addictive, but there have been advances in the field, and most of the drugs are now non-addictive and don’t affect your personality. You don’t become this numb being that feels no emotions. Your personality remains intact but is enhanced because those things that have been holding you back are now out of the way.
But … I strongly believe that you should work with a psychiatrist and not just a GP unless your GP is willing to monitor you and has extensive experience in the mental health field. I know that it’s not always possible for people to afford a psychiatrist, but there are some government hospitals that do offer free mental health services which are really good. Do your research on the drugs that are prescribed to you. A psychiatrist is best because they monitor you afterwards to make sure you’re responding well to the drug and that it’s not causing other problems.
For the rest of your life?
I’m not saying that you should never aim to come off the drugs. If that is your aim for any reason, then work with a professional to do it in the right way with the needed support and expertise. If you think you will need the medication for the rest of your life, why not? There are some medications that are really affordable, and if you don’t have negative symptoms and it’s helping you, why are you a failure as a person for taking something for your mental health? It’s a myth that mental health medication is unsafe to take for the rest of your life. If your friend with the same mental health issue copes without medication, does that make you weak or defective? No! We are all different and have a different chemical makeup. We need to work compassionately and responsibly with our own particular one.
Debunking myths
Why is mental health so stigmatised? Why can people take chronic medication for anything else in their bodies, for example, their digestive system or their blood pressure, or their cholesterol, but not for their brain? A lot of mental health issues are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Yes, they’re also caused by stress and trauma, but even then, be kind to yourself all the more if you’ve suffered from stress or trauma. You’re not a weak person for finding a way to cope with childhood difficulties and trauma. Anxiety and depression and other mental health issues were often your body’s way of dealing with things that were less than ideal. If you’ve suffered difficult things in life, you deserve, all the more, to nurture yourself. Love yourself, accept yourself and be gentle with yourself; then you will have the mental space to pursue your dreams and to be engaged in the relationships in your life.
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