Bonni’s brave adventure brings hope

IN 2008, Bonni Suckling’s world was rocked with the news that her son, Jed, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Doctors told the Sunningdale resident Jed, who was four years old at the time, had just months to live. After three major brain operations, 35 sessions of radiation, and experimental chemotherapy, he passed away just three years later in his mother‘s arms.

Overwhelmed with grief, Bonnie spent months soul searching and healing. After a suicide attempt, she lay in an ICU ward and made the fateful decision to turn her pain into power and do something positive to honour her son’s life.

Jed’s journey inspired her to start the NGO, Rainbows and Smiles, which provides emotional, social and financial support to families and caregivers in need when a child or children of that family is diagnosed with a life threatening illness such as cancer.

Bonni learnt to ride a bicycle for the first time, did her first half ironman and then full ironman and this year she completed her first Comrades Marathon, all to raise funds and awareness for children fighting cancer.

“When they told me Jed had cancer, I never believed he was terminal. I stopped working to take care of my son as I believed he would beat it. Even during his rapid health decline, he remained upbeat,” she explained.

“As the cancer worsened, Jed lost the use of his arms, then became completely physically paralysed. He eventually lost his ability to speak and he went blind. I remember the day he went blind, I asked him if he could see ‘mommy’. He said he could and I asked him to point at me, he pointed in the wrong direction, even then he was trying to protect my emotions,” an emotional Bonni said.

“He was this beautiful, energetic, bright little boy and when he died, a large part of me died with him. After my suicide attempt, in the ICU ward I made a decision to make a difference. I knew that the experience of fighting for my son’s life could either make me succumb to pain and grief or use my life to help other parents,” she said.

Though she describes herself as an ‘unsporty’ person, Bonni has made a rather seamless transition into the sporting world. She did ironman having never ridden a bike before, and then achieved a bronze in her first ever Comrades.

“I’m a nerd at heart. My first time riding a bicycle was in 2011, a few months after Jed passed away, I had a guy push me off the start line and I cycled. When I did the Comrades Marathon this year I had a T-shirt with my organisation’s details on it and the names of 52 children who died of cancer whose stories I knew personally. That’s what pushed me through the rough patches, I thought of the pain Jed and all these precious children had gone through, and it was nothing compared to my pain.

“I am not a natural sports women and it is not about completing a sports event. This is about finding a reason to live, it’s about showing the world that there is life after losing your child. It is about raising awareness for childhood cancer and most importantly it’s for the memories of the children affected by this terrible disease and for my best friend Jed,” she said.

To find out more about Bonnie’s organisation, visit www.rainbowsandsmiles.org.za

Knowing Bonni Suckling

Name five words that best describe you: “I would say friendly, motivated, obsessive, humble and passionate.”

What do you think about when you’re alone in your car? “I think about my son and what he would have been like as he grew up. I also think about the all the children fighting cancer and how to create awareness.”

What makes you angry? “When people suggest I ‘move on’ from my son’s death and make inappropriate comments about dealing with loss.”

Name one thing we don’t know about you: “I will be in Spain to represent South Africa at the International Brain Tumour Conference.”

What is your strongest family memory? “Every memory that includes my son is precious and I hold it very close to my heart.”

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