It is perhaps prudent to serve early notice to wives and girlfriends that their four-yearly stint of serious neglect is imminent.
This is so they can prepare mentally for the next three months of anguish and gnashing of teeth that will be visited upon them.
It has already started to some extent, but after this weekend there will be no more mowing the lawn, washing cars, cleaning pools, fixing leaking taps, dilapidated cupboards or other such annoying household chores.
Dinner dates and attending all kinds of irritating social events will be off the table.
And do forgive the menfolk for their lack of affection other than occasionally calling you “Sweetie Pie”, “Poppie”, “Liefie” and “Sex Pot” in the false hope of keeping your “moermeter” outside the red zone and their shares up..
The neglect will not be deliberate – its all rugby’s fault.
In the run-up to the Rugby World Cup the Springboks’ performance will occupy all attention and discussion over the next few weeks.
Before their opening World Cup match against Scotland on September 10, the Boks are still to play Argentina, New Zealand (twice) and Wales.
This is a crucial time as team selections, tactics and referee blunders will be deliberated on ad nauseam around braai fires and in bars.
Do remember that each of your husbands or boyfriends have superior knowledge about the game, far more than the actual coaches and officials.
Strong opinions will lead to heated discourse, so much so that fisticuffs may even ensue.
Do not be alarmed. It is all part of the culture and the warring parties, even if battered and bruised, will soon be back overindulging in the fruit of the vine in perfect camaraderie.
And just when you think things are getting a bit much, the World Cup starts – two months of non-stop action from which there will be no respite.
It is also good to keep in mind that not only the Springbok matches must be viewed and dissected.
All future opponents’ games have to be scrutinised in the finest detail as well so your other half can phone Jacques Nienaber or Rassie Erasmus to give them the best advice on how to outsmart the next opponents.
The bottom line is, most things will come to a standstill and the menfolk will have a perfect excuse to become couch layabouts or serial party animals.
But do not despair, this will be a perfect opportunity for payback time.
Bite the bullet and bide your time. Keep the biltong tray well stocked and the fridge packed to the brim with the favourite brews at all times.
Also call him your “Ramrod”, “Stallion” or something equally flattering on occasion. Then, when the final whistle of the World Cup final sounds on October 28, you pounce.
Guilt-ridden, all demands – be it the exotic holiday, jewellery or a new outfit – will be favourably considered.
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