Ballito residents had their own rendition of Suburban Bliss play out at the weekend when a goat and a chicken made a scandalous appearance on Salt Rock beach.
Premiered in 1995, Suburban Bliss was a popular South African sitcom, quickly capturing the nation’s affection with its laugh-out-loud comedy and uniquely Mzansi flavour.
The basic premise of the story was two very different neighbouring families, one English and the other Zulu, with the resulting culture clashes the source of much hilarity.
The sitcom hoped to bring South Africans of different cultures, who had been kept apart for so long, closer together by exploring their differences and similarities.
I am pretty sure a backyard sacrifice would have featured on the show.
Similarly, local WhatsApp groups came alive on Saturday with outrage and horror at the appearance of these domestic animals amid sun tanning beachgoers with cries of “The goat looks desperate”, “Please confiscate the goat!” and “Call the police!”.
Community Safety was called to intervene and it was quickly established the owners of the animals did not intend to sacrifice them, at least not on the beach.
They were conducting an initiation ceremony, so no blood was spilt, and the group were allowed to go about their business.
Being an animal lover myself I did feel a pang of sorrow for Billy Goat and its little friend Chicken Licken, because they were very likely destined for the pot, but then I challenged myself.
Was my own cultural bias getting in the way?
If I had grown up in rural Maphumulo, just about an hour outside suburban Ballito, where almost everyone slaughters their own chickens and goats when the need arises, would I have reacted in the same way?
I go to Pick n Pay to buy a braai pack of chicken pieces and some stewing meat (preferably from Lambert or Babe) without blinking an eye, so why do I feel upset at the idea of an animal being slaughtered?
Essentially it is the same, and the death need not be any less humane.
Part of the problem is that us urban dwellers have become too far removed from our food sources. Apples grow in plastic packets, milk comes from cartons and beef burgers certainly never ever went ‘Moooo!’
I remember one hilarious episode of Leon Schuster’s ‘You Must Be Joking’ that played on this very sensibility.
Leon dressed up as a butcher who attracted customers with a special on ‘fresh meat’.
Tasked with an order, he grabs his rifle and ducks into the back room pretending to slaughter the cow, with all the sound effects, leaving some very shocked customers.
Then there is property rights. You cannot simply confiscate someone’s goat. That would constitute stealing and the owner would have every right to open a case of stock theft.
While our by-laws do not allow animal slaughter in a public place, they do make provision for the practice – for religious or cultural purposes – inside private property, so long as the animal is not mistreated.
Preparing to slaughter your goat or cow is within every livestock owner’s rights.
I had a chat with a goat farmer from rural Maphumulo about slaughtering techniques.
He explained that there are simple methods for slaughtering an animal without causing undue suffering.
So abattoirs are not the only places that know how to do this.
Neither does he want his animals to suffer.
The Zulu man told me his goats were both valuable and precious to him.
They come when called and he can tell each one apart from the others.
Should he need to slaughter one, its meat would nourish his family.
So while we may not always fully understand or appreciate our differences, it is helpful to stop and consider our own possible double standards before we leap to the rescue of goats on the beach.
After all they may just be going for a walk.
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